The flower and her protector
by magicalmarauders
Summary: The story of the relationship between James Potter and Lily Evans and how the people in their life managed to see that their love could change the world. Years 5 and 6. First of a duo. Disclaimer: I unfortunately own none of the Harry Potter world and none of the characters mentioned throughout this story. Please R & R.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: An interesting beginning**

**James**

A young girl stood before the barrier. It seemed like she couldn't decide whether or not she wanted to cross onto the platform or remain in the muggle world. She watched as a boy of the same age with greasy, lank black hair beckoned for her to follow him before slipping through the wall. And still she stood there with her two parents by her side and a sour faced girl, presumably her sister, a few steps away. She glanced up at her parents to see them smiling down at her with pride and love in their eyes. Shakily she walked towards the wall but stopped short before it.

"You should try running at it instead if you are nervous."

The girl spun around at the sound of my voice, Bright red locks whipping around almost whacking the innocent muggle walking past her. Beautiful emerald eyes misted over with worry, fear and just the slightest glint of determination. She seemed to stare without actually seeing me

"Oh. I'm so sorry; if you are waiting you can just go ahead of me." Her meek voice hinting towards embarrassment.

"No, don't worry about me. I just want to make sure you go through. Hogwarts will be great, but you don't want to miss the train do you?"

At that her head swung back towards the wall. "No" her voice whispered sweetly, "I don't want to miss out on going to Hogwarts." As she spoke her voice got slightly bolder. She looked back at her parents with a bright smile on her face and then swiftly ran at the wall, disappearing through it.

"Thank you, young man," the man I guessed to be her father said, patting me firmly on the shoulder. He and two women then turned and began their journey back to their car.

I stood staring at the wall, thinking that that girl was the most beautiful girl in the world and wishing to be in the same house as her just so I could see her every day. With that thought I raced towards the wall and hurried to get my things stowed on the train. My parents had been called into work almost the second we made it to the train station so there was no need for any embarrassing goodbyes or hidden tears on my part. I would miss my parents but it was going to be okay because I was going to Hogwarts. I would learn magic and become an auror just like my dad.

In my thought induce haze walked straight into another student. The boy had thick black hair, expressive grey eyes and a smirk stretching his lips. "Sorry, mate." A voice seemingly too deep for a boy so young drawled.

"My fault, mate, wasn't paying attention." I stuck out my hand with enthusiasm. "The name's Potter, James Potter."

"Ahhh, a blood traitor my parents will be so proud that I am making such illustrious friends. I'm Sirius Black. Yes of those Black's unfortunately, but I swear I'm not like them. First year?" The boy, Sirius, seemed to be rambling.

"Yeah mate I'm a first year and don't worry i won't judge you too harshly for being a Black." We stood there grinning at each other in friendship before we finally shook hands with me declaring "Friends."

We walked the hallway together searching for an empty compartment. As I told Sirius about the beautiful redhead I had seen when coming through the barrier. Suddenly I caught a glimpse of her through the window to a compartment, and forced Sirius to stop. "That's her." I whispered, pointing.

"You're right Jamie-boy, she is fit" came Sirius's reply. Together we walked into the compartment. It was obvious she didn't remember me from the muggle platform, she and the greasy haired fellow with her both seemed to hate me by the time they left the compartment.

"Smooth, Potter" came Black's voice.

"Oh, shut it you." I answered hotly, before bursting out laughing. "I think she might hate me now, but just you wait and see one day she will be mine!" I roared triumphantly. Sirius just watched me shaking his head in silent laughter.

**Lily**

When the train eventually grinded to a halt I started jumping with excitement. Sev just sat there watching me with an amused expression. As he opened the door, he turned and said to me, for perhaps the billionth time, "You had better be in Slytherin with me." I just nodded mutely. There were things I had heard and read about Sytherin house that made me doubt that it would be the right fit for either me or Sev but he seem so excited about the idea that I couldn't bear to crush his hopes. We walked together towards the giant of a man booming "Firs' years this way! Hurry up". As we approached many other first years seemed to cower away from him, but I didn't find him to be all that scary he appeared to be just like a giant, cuddly teddy bear. I walked straight up to him and stuck up my hand on an angle and announced "My name is Lily Evans, it is a pleasure to meet you."

The giant of a man appeared to be startled before he grinned and enveloped my hand with his own in a brisk handshake that made me feel as if my hand was going to fall off. "I'm Rubeus Hagrid. But just call me Hagrid. It is a pleasure to meet you too Lily. I think you are going to be a Gryffindor."

Sev seemed upset by that idea but I just grinned and started walking towards the boats on the edge of the lake, beckoning for him to follow. Together we climbed into a boat and it began moving calmly towards the castle. I couldn't help but stare in astonishment. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever beheld.

When we arrived we were gathered by a severe looking woman who appeared to be in her early forties. She had greying brown hair pulled into a tight bun on top of her head and was dressed in black and green robes. She looked very dignified and when she thought no one was watching allowed a small smile to form before returning her expression to neutral. She explained that we were about to be sorted into our houses and that our houses would be like our family while we were here. However she also wanted us to be friends with everyone and to try and promote harmony throughout the school with inter-house friendships.

I felt relaxed at that thought, even if I did end up in a different house to Sev we could still be friends. It was an idea that made me happy because I still wasn't sure that I wanted to be in Slytherin.

One by one the names were called. I recognised Sirius Black from the train. His sorting caused uproar from the Slytherins but a great amount of cheering from Potter and the Gryffindor table. Soon my name was called. As I approached the hat I felt fear and apprehension but still I was determined to be sorted. I missed my own family so it would be good to have a family here, wouldn't it?

"Your mind is complex my dear." The Hat murmured. "You have great power, this is true and you have thought about Slytherin but your mind is also smart in telling you that it is not the house for you. Your intelligence and eagerness to learn makes me lean towards Ravenclaw but alas that house will not complete you. Hufflepuff could be good for of course you would work hard but I believe Gryffindor deserve one with such a brave and loyal heart as yours."

The hat's shout of "Gryffindor" brought loud cheers from my new house but an audible groan from Sev. I felt bad for leaving him but I was excited to join my house. The rest of the sorting went by in a flurry of cheering houses and lively chatter. James Potter, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Alice Fortesque, Marlene McKinnon and Mary McDonald were all sorted into Gryffindor with Black and me. As I sat and chatted with the other girls trying my hardest to ignore Black and Potter, I glanced towards the Slytherin table and spotted a disappointed looking Sev. How I wish he had been sorted into Gryffindor with me! We smiled sadly at one another and then turned back to our respective groups.

The next four and a half years flew by with pranks and schemes from Potter, Black, Pettigrew and Lupin, who took to calling themselves the marauders. I swear they were just trying to bug me as much as humanly possible. Potter took to asking me out at least once a week from second year onwards. They performed rather harmless and amusing pranks on the population of Hogwarts, especially the Slytherins, I however refused to allow them to know that i found them both amusing and creative. They hexed Sev every opportunity they got which caused me great distress, but so did the fact that Sev and I had gradually been growing apart. It hurt to think that the boy that taught me about magic was changing, and not for the better.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Harry Potter University, all praise for this amazing literary work goes to the wonderful and fantastic J.K. Rowling. **

**Chapter 2: A change in perspective **

**James**

There is officially only two weeks left until Christmas in our fifth year at Hogwarts. I personally can't wait til the break. A whole two weeks of no work and pure unadulterated pranking fun. This is going to be the first year that the marauders stay at school for Christmas. Usually we all leave but this year my parents were going to be away. Mum is visiting one of her friends in Egypt and Dad is on a mission with the auror department. So basically being at home would have sucked even if Sirius had been with me.

So with that in mind Sirius, Remus, Peter and I decided to stay and muck around in the castle for Christmas. It is going to be awesome. With hardly anyone here, we will be in control of the entire school practically. As we sit down for breakfast on this fine Monday morning, we start to discuss the different pranks that we are planning. As we start planning something for the third week, Remus subtly reminds us about his furry little problem. When he was a little munchkin, Remus was attacked by a werewolf therefore making him a werewolf. So to help him with his painful transformations, Peter, Sirius and I became animagi. Together we are able to distract and control him and stop him from hurting himself too badly.

I transform into a proud and noble stag, Sirius a shaggy, loyal, black dog and Peter a small, sneaky rat. And with our animal forms came our nicknames. I am Prongs, Sirius is Padfoot, Peter is Wormtail and Remus is Moony. Together we are unstoppable. We are brothers and together to the end. So there is a full moon next week on Thursday and then one on the Friday in the third week of the holidays. Just two days after Christmas.

We continued planning until Sirius abruptly stood up and said "Well old buddies, old pals, as fun as this has been I am off to meet Susan, you know that Hufflepuff bird for a nice, pleasant snog. I might see you later." And with that he left, walking straight out the door of the great hall. As he disappeared from sight, the owl post began to descend. Hades, my black long-eared owl swooped down with two letters tied to his leg. They were from my parents and didn't say anything particularly interesting except that Dad wanted me to keep up with the "awesome sounding pranks" and Mum wanted me to "stop forcing McGonagall" to send her letters about my bad behaviour. I always found it funny how my parents could be so different sometimes. Then again, maybe could work with Lily and I after all. Yes after four and a half long years I was still in love with the beautiful Lily and I still was trying to get her to see me as worthy of dating her.

As my thoughts continued to focus on Lily, I found myself watching her. She seemed absorbed in the letters she had received. The first she smiled and giggle at but the second turned her face pale and tears started forming in her eyes. Before i could ask her if she was alright she stood and fled from the table leaving her bag behind, but with the letters clenched firmly within her hand. She seemed so distraught but I knew better than to go after her. She still hated me. And yes some of that could have been my fault but I think fault also lay on her refusing to see that I have changed, at least a little bit, and refusing to accept the fact that I really do care for and about her. Most people thought that my asking her out was some kind of a joke or an attempt to mock her. But the truth was that I just wanted her to give me a chance.

I slowly made my way up the bench to Marlene who had been sitting beside her. Marlene was my cousin (random pure-blood style) so I could usually count on her to tell me what was happening with Lily.

"Marly, my darling informant, where had the gorgeous Evans disappeared to? She did run of yonder in a rather fast paced manner, causing me but a small amount of distress."

"Oh, shut it you. This time I actually can't help you she ran off before I had the opportunity to ask. I was distracted by Alice. But I'm thinking we probably won't see for the rest of the day" she answered.

"And what gives you that idea my dearest cousin?"

"The fact that she was careless enough to have left her book bag and tea. If she was so upset as to forget those, she is going to be too upset to remember that she is meant to be in classes. But being the great friend I am, I will cover for her and take the notes she needs, except for Arithmancy and Runes, which I will get Remus to take notes for her in. See I am a great friend."

"But shouldn't you being, you know, going to find her?"

"She doesn't trust us like that James, I mean sure we are friends but she doesn't share the personal stuff. Really with anyone, if I'm going to be honest. She used to share everything with Snape but she doesn't even seem to tell him everything anymore. If she does need someone she will find him, but she didn't run to him first so I'm going to guess she wants some time alone."

"Well that all seems very complex." I paused for a second thinking how to phrase this next part. "If she does talk to you and end up needing something, let me know and I can probably help. She doesn't even need to know that I am helping of course but just let me know if I can, even if she doesn't know it's me." Okay so that bumbling and rambling didn't come out quite as I had hoped it would. But she simply nodded, patting me on the arm before shrinking Lily's book bag and placing it within her own and hopping up from the bench to go to class. I sat there for one more moment, praying to Merlin that Lily would be okay, and that if she needed it I could help her, in any way. I just wanted for her to be okay, happy, even if it had nothing to do with me.

**Lily**

I ran I didn't even think about what I should be doing, I didn't focus on what people might think, I just ran. My heart felt like it was going to collapse and tears were already falling down my face in heavy streams. I felt myself bump into people but didn't respond even when someone hollered "Watch it mudblood" not even that insult could be worse than what I had just read. I think in that opening sentence that my heart had broken.

Before I even realised it I had come to a stop on the seventh floor in the left corridor of the castle, standing with her back towards a tapestry depicting the attempt of Barnabas the Barmy to teach trolls ballet staring at a blank wall. Decidedly I walked back and forth three times in front of the wall, thinking "I need sanctuary". When I opened my eyes on my third walk, a large door stood before me waiting for me to enter. This was my safe place. It was there for me when no one else was. This place was the place where nothing bad could happen to me and my heart could break and repair itself. I pushed on the door and I open at my touch. The paper crinkled in my hand making my heart tear a little and fresh tears form on my face. I entered the room and ran towards the comfy red couch sitting right in the middle of the room. I flopped myself down and proceeded to bawl my eyes out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 3: Unexpected Similarities**

**Sirius**

"So darling, were you thinking we would be going to class this morning?" my underlying sarcasm and brash flirtatiousness caused her to giggle. I wondered why they always giggled. Giggling is possibly one of the most irritating things a girl could do, it is all high pitched and squeaky. Just plain irritating if you asked me. So to stop her I placed my lips at the hollow of her neck. I had always found that the sigh that a kiss like that produced was way better than stupid giggles. I twisted my fingers with hers, and started moving us purposefully towards an empty broom closet. Don't worry I know all the right incantations for this kind of stuff, locking spells, silence spells, protection spells. When you are a marauder it helps to be prepared. Before I could find a broom closet I saw my brother.

Without realising it, I had stopped dead in my tracks. Susan pulled my arm a little obviously eager for the broom closet but I couldn't move. My brother hadn't yet noticed me, but I had noticed him. And the group he was speaking to. Our dearest cousin Narcissa Black, the greasy Snivellous Snape and the dodgy as all fuck Thorfinn Rowle. I had to stop myself from hexing them all, instead I let go of Susan, walked up to my brother and dragged him away by the ear. I kept my hand on my wand just in case any of his 'friends' were stupid enough to pull their wands on me. To be honest, not very many people would dare pull their wand on a marauder for fear of the revenge that would follow.

I pulled Regulus down to an abandoned classroom and shoved him inside before rounding on him. "How could you be so stupid? Do you want to die? Because this is what will happen if you get yourself in with that crowd. They are all death eaters or soon to be at least. Don't be like them Reg, you are so much better than they are. I know mum and dad are probably pushing for it but you have to see that they are all bad people. Please Reg, as my brother, don't do this don't become one of them I don't want them to ruin you. You are too good for that. Please, brother."

After that I finally let him respond. "Well isn't it convenient that I am your brother now. You left me at home by myself for almost all of the summer. Running off with the mudblood obsessed, blood-traitor Potter. Does it really even matter to you if I become one of them? It's not like we are even family anymore. Mum said that next time she sees you she is going to cruciatus you until you go mad. She hates you. Dad hates you. EVEN I HATE YOU!" The next sentences came out as barely a whisper. "I always wished you would take me with you but you didn't, so instead I figured out how to survive, we are no longer brothers. We are now enemies, blood traitor."

I let go of his arm and stood back. I didn't know what to say. He had just disowned me. I left him at home because I knew mum and dad wouldn't risk hurting him. If I had taken him with me he would have been safe from death eater indoctrination but I would have been tortured at school. There was no way I could win. I stared at him with sorrow and regret showing on my face, while he stared back. His face was set in indifference but I knew my brother and I could see the pain flaring beneath the surface. I stared into the face of the one Black I wanted to save and realised that I had lost him. I had lost my little brother. He spun on a heel and walked out the door leaving it to slam behind him. I just watched him leave knowing that, that was going to be the last time I spoke to him. And my heart died a little.

I would not cry. Not in my bedroom. Not in a hallway. Not even to the marauders. No. I would not cry. Instead I walked deliberately to the seventh floor and started pacing before a wall thinking to myself "I need somewhere safe" over and over. Finally on my third trip a large door appeared before me. I pushed at the door to allow myself entrance. The door rattled in its frame as I slammed it closed again behind me. I gave a yell of frustration before leaning back and sliding down the door, tears forming in my eyes. Then I heard a quietly rough sounding voice say "who's there? I have my wand." The voice sounded wobbly and tired but I had a certain strength to it that seem slightly familiar.

Unwilling to raise my head when there were tears in my eyes I simply grunted a "Me. How the hell are you in here?"

"Black? I could be asking you the same question." I started recognising the voice better now.

I lifted my head forgetting about my tears, "Evans?"

"Yeah Black. How did you get in here? I asked for sanctuary not a headache." There was a small amount of humour in her voice and luckily no anger. Yet.

"I asked for somewhere safe. The room is obviously confused if it thinks I am safe being in the same room as you." I watched as she gingerly got herself up from the couch and made her way over to me.

"Well actually I am really not in the hexing mood, or the yelling mood. I feel more like crying. Oh wait I have already done that." She sat down beside me and I could see the effect that the crying had had on her normally flawless skin. She was red, blotchy and swollen. Her make-up had smudged and her eyes were exceptionally dull in comparison to normal gleam she had in them.

Before I could say anything she asked "Why do you need to be safe? And don't think I didn't notice that you have tears in your eyes too. I swear to Merlin, and Aggripa and any other magical being you want that I won't tell anyone. Or do you want me to go and grab Potter, Pettigrew and Remus for you?"

I couldn't help myself and so the question of "You would actually do that for me?" slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it. She nodded her head in a silent yes before waiting for response to her offer. "Actually Evans, I would prefer that James didn't see me right now. I'm not really being all that manly." I managed a weak grin at her before my face fell again. I expected for her to ask me again what was wrong but instead she just stood up and held out a hand for her to help me up. To say I was surprised was an understatement. But I took her hand and she helped me too my feet. She dropped my hand and trudged over to the couch. On the coffee table was a silver tea set with biscuits and chocolates to accompany it. "This turned up a few minutes before you did. Mum always says that if you break tea and chocolates are the best thing... to put you back together." Her voice broke mid-way through the sentence and her eyes began to fill.

I turned to give her some time while I poured the tea. With my back still turned I asked "Sugar? Milk?"

"Three sugars, please." Her voice was polite and to me it was slightly odd to be sharing a civil conversation with the girl who had yelled at me and hexed me more times than I could count. "And don't laugh, I only have three sugars when I am in desperate need." But in a whisper she added "Normally I limit myself to two."

I couldn't help but release a snort at that. She grinned briefly back at me, the smile not reaching her eyes at all. I passed her, her tea cup and took my own before sitting on the couch. She sat down on the arm chair opposite and quietly sipped her tea. I hated the quiet it allowed my mind to wander so I blurted out "I never thought I would see the day when Lily Evans would wag class and be a bum for the day."

"Yeah," she answered, "I didn't think that this day would come either but then I got my sisters letter and all thoughts of school flew out the wind."

She looked so sad at the mention of the letter, and a few tears began to fall again. "Do you want to tell me about it? I solemnly swear on the marauders' that I won't tell anyone. But it will probably help to tell someone. I would offer to get Snivellous for you, but to be honest I probably could get through doing that without hexing him and then you would be even more upset."

"It's okay. He won't really understand. I don't tell him as much anymore. We are kind of growing apart, another part of my heart ache."

"So... what did the letter say?"

Lily looked at me for a moment, I eyes practically boring into my soul, before she released her breath in a huff and started. "Well first up I got a letter from my parents. They told me they missed me and were asking if I was home for Christmas or if I... oh what did it say?" she grabbed a letter off the table opening it carefully as if it was a precious artefact. "Or if I was being a ninny and stressing unnecessarily over the exams that were so far off I would probably turn grey before they occurred." She chuckled a little at this and I grinned back at her.

"Your parents sound nice Evans, I don't really see a need to cry over that."

"My parents are the best. I love my whole family." She sniffed quietly before adding "Unfortunately my whole family doesn't love me back. Of course my parents do but not my sister. She hates..." Her last word was cut off by uncontrollable sobs. I found myself moving to sit on the arm of her chair and rubbing her back comfortingly. She seemed as shocked by the gesture as I did but accepted it anyway. Finally after about five minutes she picked up the second letter and thrust it into my hand. "Just read it. It's easier for me that way."

Slowly I opened the letter, chastising myself for being slightly scared to read its contents.

_Lily _(not even a dear)

_I know that mum and dad have written to you as well and that they are asking you to come home for Christmas, but I am writing to ask you not to. I don't want you here. Cokesworth is no longer your home. You don't belong here. No one really wants you here any longer. These holidays I will be bringing my new boyfriend home to meet mum and dad._

_As of yet I have not informed him of your freakishness and I don't want to have to explain the fact that I am forced to have you as a sister. It is easier for everyone if you don't come home. If I am to be frank, I have barely even told him of your existence. All he knows about you is that you are younger than me and are in a special boarding school away from civilised society. That is the truth and that is what I have told him. _

_ Don't come home. Make up some excuse._

_ Petunia_

"What a bitch." I couldn't help it the words just slid out of my mouth before I could stop them. Lily just proceeded to burst into tears again. I really couldn't help it. James always said I had no filter. I looked down at Lily. She seemed so heartbroken. "If she doesn't recognise how great of a sister you are then it is her loss, Lily."

We sat there for a few moments while her sobs subsided. "And to make matters worse," she started, "I am being called mudblood at least twice a day, and I barely even know my best friend anymore. I just want for him to be back to normal."

"You know Evans, we actually have more in common than you would think." I could help but see the similarities between us when it came to family and death eater problems. "I get called blood traitor fairly frequently, my brother hates be and in order to show me how much he does despise me he is becoming a death eater with your dear friend Snape."

"What? Your brother? But he is so young." Lily looked so saddened by the idea of my brother, it was a little heart breaking. Unfortunately, spilling all that news cause my tears to make a reappearance. To be honest I was pretty lucky that Lily was the only person to see me cry, because she is probably the one girl that I would never have feelings for and she would never have feelings for me. I felt her wrap her arms around my waist and we both sat there crying in one another's embrace. I seemed as if both our hearts were breaking and we could only the other person would understand. After a little while we both seemed to have calmed down and we separated. Suddenly she spoke up, "So you promise you won't say anything. I don't want to seem weak. I can't afford to seem weak when all this prejudice is hanging about."

I couldn't help but laugh at that, "Lily if I told someone then I would have to explain how I found you, and it's probably best for my image if people don't think I was crying. Plus I would never betray someone's trust like that." I gave her a weak smile and moved back to the couch, grabbing a chocolate on the way. I looked down at the watch on my wrist and realised that we had already missed the first two classes of the day. "I hope you didn't want to attend Transfiguration or Potions because everyone is on their way to Defence around now."

She looked up at me with confusion before she asked "Are you planning on going to class today?"

I chuckled at this "No, but I assumed that you might be."

She smiled weakly. "Nope, actually I have every intention of hiding in here the whole day and then sneaking down to the kitchens for dinner and getting back to the common room just before curfew. Then I can get my homework from Marlene and Remus, do that and be ready for school tomorrow."

I'm sure my face must have registered my shock because she started to giggle. "Really Evans, you are shocking me more each minute." She grinned at me mischievously.

"So do you want to tell me the whole story?" Her voice was quiet and delicate as if she was trying to subtly coax me into spilling my guts. But at this point I already wanted to and so she really didn't even need to try that hard.

So I told her what had happened that morning and all my reasons for staying away from home and my brother. When I told her what he said to me before he left she looked shocked. "Your mother would really perform the cruciatus curse on you?" Her voice held a bit of restrained fear.

I smiled sadly before saying. "I know she would. To be honest if she did it again it wouldn't surprise me, she started using it on me my first holidays back from Hogwarts, because I got into Gryffindor. That Christmas my parents decided to start practicing dark magic, with me as a target. So really her being angry doesn't scare me all that much anymore. There isn't anything left she can try on me without killing me." Her face had paled and she looked as if she wanted to hide me and protect me from the world. She had the Gryffindor glint in her eyes, determined to the point of stupidity. "But you needn't worry dear Lily, I live with the Potter's now a vast majority of the time and I very rarely am allowed to go home. Dorea and Charlus have kind of adopted me unofficially by now. And they are stupidly protective of me." She looked relieved at this idea.

"Well I'm glad you have some people looking out for you. And I'm sorry that you no longer have a relationship with your brother, I know it hurts but at least you have Potter, Pettigrew and Remus as your brothers as well." She smiled at me with sadness in her eyes.

"It's funny Evans, James told me that we marauders were all brothers but I didn't really believe it until you told me." I smiled gratefully at her. "You do know that James is going to hate me now don't you?"

"What? Why?" she spluttered out.

"Because I have had the opportunity to both speak to and touch you without you attempting to kill me. He is going to be so jealous that he won't speak to me."


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**apoorvam77: Thank you very much, this is my first fan-fic so I was a bit worried**

**Chapter 4: A new view point**

**Lily**

The rest of my day was spent with Sirius, hiding in the room of requirement. We played exploding-snap and gobstones, ate chocolate, talked and even practiced duelling for a bit. To be honest it shocked me how well I got along with Sirius when we were alone. I felt a billion times lighter for telling him my problems and he seem lighter too. By around 4 o'clock we were sitting on the couches just talking about anything random that came into our heads, when he suddenly turned serious and said "Just a question Lily dear, why do you call James, Peter and I by our last names but Remus by his first?" His eyebrow raised as he asked the question, making me wonder if he practiced raising his eyebrows.

"Well, I guess it's because I am friends with Remus where as you, Potter and Pettigrew were all annoyances instead of companions." I couldn't help but blush as I said this. For some reason it made me feel guilty.

He just chuckled and answered "Well I guess that is fair."

We talked for a while longer before he started staring down and his hands and said "You know Lily dear, if you told any of the marauders that you were being bothered by other people, you know, the ones who are calling you the 'm' word, we would do something to stop them. It's not right that they are trying to upset you and we would put a stop to it."

I thought about this for a moment. "To be honest Sirius, I already knew that you would help if I told you, but I don't want to cause more problems within the school. I don't want to seem weak and to have to have you guys stick up for me. I also didn't want for you guys to have another excuse to hex people, there is already division among the houses, I don't want to contribute to it more."

He looked at me and nodded. "I guess that is fair." After that we went back to mucking around.

By the time dinner came around we were both feeling a lot better so we decided to go and join our respective friends. As we started walking out the door, Sirius grabbed my arm and turned me towards him. "Lily dear, if you ever need to talk to anyone about this stuff, or just vent in general, remember that I am here and willing to listen. I will help you out whenever I can as well, without hexing people as well." Without thinking I wrapped my arms around him in a hug. He returned the gesture and we continued our way down to dinner.

When we got to the great hall we began to separate before seeing that our friends were all sitting together so we walked together to their part of the table and sat down. In the end I was between Remus and Sirius with Potter staring at me as if I had grown an extra head.

**James**

I couldn't help it, I just stared at Lily sitting between Padfoot and Moony. She seemed not to mind them talking to her. Okay so I understood her talking to Remus, they were friends after all, but Sirius? Since when could she stand being near him without hexing him? Nothing made sense today. I know that he hadn't been hooking up with her otherwise he would have boils on his skin and bright pink hair. Long story short for that was that last year my fellow marauders signed a contract saying that no one apart from me would ever kiss Lily on the lips, we bound that contract with a spell that would affect any person who broke the contracts' appearance. Plus I trusted Pads, he knew that I was in love with her and as my brother he wouldn't go against me. I couldn't help but be worried.

When Susan turned up to first period Transfiguration without Padfoot, I assumed that she had simply refused to miss class to continue hooking up with him, but when he didn't turn up by the end of first period I started getting worried. He hadn't contacted me via the mirror and he wasn't on the map. I figured that he must have been upset and didn't want to tell us yet, so I left it alone, but now that he had walked into the great hall beside Lily with no trace of sadness or anger it made me wonder what had happened today.

I kicked Padfoot in the shins and he raised his head to look at me in the eyes. He knew I was asking what had happened today so he just nodded and jerked his head to the side. I knew what he meant, it must be a marauder thing, we could practically read one another's minds. He was saying he would tell me later but couldn't in the present company. I relaxed then and continue to eat, not risking speaking in case Lily decided to hex because I said something stupid. To be honest I was just enjoying having all the people I cared about around me with no fighting. It was nice to be able to hear Lily laugh and talk with my friends, it reminded me of how good it would be if I did end up dating Lily, she fit in so well with everyone who was a permanent fixture in my life, namely, the marauders.

**Lily**

I was actually enjoying dinner. It was nice to have all the fifth year Gryffindors sitting together, all talking freely and mucking around together. Potter was abnormally quiet but I wasn't going to complain, it was nice not to have to yell at him for his stupidity. Sirius and Remus were razzing me for ditching class while Marlene, Mary and Alice were "defending my honour". Trust me those were their words not mine. I couldn't help but laugh. I felt so much lighter than I had this morning. I felt supported and cared for. Part of that was Sirius, he seemed to want to force me into the camaraderie.

Eventually the conversation changed to one about quidditch, so I began only half listening. Potter became more vocal in this conversation, but to be honest it was kind of fascinating to see the passion he had for the game. As he began exclaim about how Gryffindor was going to slaughter Hufflepuff this Saturday I felt a tap on my shoulder. I spun around to see Severus, I smiled brightly, happy to see my friend, while the rest of the table grew quiet, Potter shutting up abruptly in Sev's presence. I felt Sirius flinch in a moment to his wand, but I tapped his knee and shot him a look as I spun fully on the bench. Sev didn't return my smile instead he seem angry as he said "Where in Merlin's name were you today? You weren't in potions or Runes. So where were you?"

My smile dropped at his harsh tone. "I wasn't feeling too well this morning, Black was kind enough to give me some anti-nausea potion he had this afternoon, allowing me to come down to dinner. I'm sorry I wasn't there but I couldn't really help it." I felt bad for reverting back to the use of Sirius' last name, it made him flinch away from me for a second, but I think he realised that calling him by his first name would not help my situation with Sev. "Are we still on for studying tomorrow afternoon?"

Severus paused for a second, his eyes attempting to read my face. His pause made me feel uneasy, he had never had to think about spending time with me before.

**James**

I started reaching for my wand when I saw Snape but Sirius and Remus both kicked me in the shin and shook their heads. I guess they were right. Lily had just started spending time with us without yelling at us, I really didn't want to spoil that yet, but Snape made me so angry. I had always wondered why Lily was friends with him. It was obvious that he was a wannabe death eater. But she would kill me if I ever tried to question her about it.

I sat there seething at the tone he was using to speak to her. Lily just responded calmly and evenly, just the way that she always does, but the worst part was when he paused after she asked if they were meeting up. Her face looked as if her heart was breaking. It looked like her worst fears were coming true, and I felt guilty that there was nothing I could do to protect her from this heart break. I mean the guys and I had stopped many guys from dating her. Of course she had still had one or two boyfriends but whenever we had discovered a flaw in the person or their intentions towards Lily we had got rid of them. It wasn't an 'if I can't have her no one can' situation, I still wanted her to be happy; even if it wasn't with me, instead it was a matter of us not wanting for her to suffer from a broken heart.

Finally Snivellous answered with "Yeah Lily we can but I can't stay for too long I have to get back to my housemates, besides with all these guys around I doubt you will miss me." He stormed off after that comment. Lily quickly ran after him declaring "It's not like that I swear Sev."

I looked over at Sirius. He was watching after Lily with a pained look on his face. As if sensing me watching he looked back at me and shook his head. This wasn't good, obviously some of the information Sirius new was relating to the relationship between Lily and Snape.

Around twenty minutes later, as we were all getting up to leave the table, Lily walked quickly into the room. It was mostly empty with dinner being mostly over, but she walked straight over to Sirius, flung her arms around him and sobbed into his chest. I felt my heart break at this. Sirius began whispering into her hair but the sobs didn't subside. It hurt both to know that she was upset and to realise that she would never come to be and let herself fall apart. It seemed to shock all the girls as well.

Remus being the intuitive one, whispered something to Sirius obviously about getting Lily out of here and then turned to the rest of us and whispered "We are all leaving, Lily and Sirius will meet us in the common room soon. Off we go, come on."

As we walked towards the Gryffindor common room Mary asked "Has anyone ever seen Lily do that before?" Everyone just shook their heads in response so she continued "I have never even seen her cry before, even when she has been mocked for being a muggle-born, she has never cried and I have definitely never seen her break in front of other people. It's weird I didn't think she even liked Black, let alone trusted him enough to allow herself to cry on him. Whatever happened today is a major change. I think she is beginning to see people from a whole new view point."

We all walked quietly contemplating this until Marly decided to elevate the tension by saying, "Yeah tonight was weird, I mean Lily sat near James without hexing or insulting him. I mean I didn't hear her say arrogant toe rag even once. Are we sure she isn't under the imperious curse or something, it was very un-Lily-like." We all took the comment with relief and began to laugh and chat again as we continued our way to Gryffindor Tower.

Once we arrived we all grabbed kind of work and plonked ourselves down in front of the fire. It was nice to have everyone helping one another with the homework and being able to get it done quickly. Everyone was asking questions and sharing answers and books to get it all done faster. Alice started help Peter to accomplish the Aparecium charm, to reveal concealment charms, that he hadn't quite gotten in class and for the first time I felt like Gryffindor really was a family. I couldn't help but smile distractedly until Mary whacked me across the back of the head and told me to focus on my defence essay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 5: Support and Suggestions**

**Sirius**

Lily came barrelling into my arms, tears evident on her face. She struck me with a force and promptly wrapped her arms around me, using me as a support when her knees caved. She sobbed unabashedly into my shoulder as I whispered worthless sentences into her ears. Things like "it's okay Lily dear" and "we'll figure it out." To be honest I don't think she even heard me, I think she was too caught up in her barely healed heart breaking again. I wished that I could have done something but I was glad that she at least had taken me up on my offer to support her when she needed it, but I honestly hadn't expected for her to need to speak to me about this so son. I had been hoping that things would get better for her rather than worse.

After a little while Moony whispered "Mate you've got to get her out of here, take her to the normal passage to go to Gryffindor tower. Sit in there with her and talk for a while, we will be waiting in there when you guys are ready." I nodded my head in understanding and started walking Lily out of the great hall. I lead her with my arm firmly around her shoulder hoping that we could leave without anyone noticing or stopping us.

Once we left the great hall I turned her left and walked her to the broom closet under the stairs, turned the door knob three times counter-clockwise, tapped the door with my wand and then open the closet. I walked her inside without her even realising where we were going. I stopped half way through the corridor and we both collapsed to the ground. Lily started bawling at this point in time and all I could do was wrap my arms around her and hope that she would talk soon. In a way it broke my heart to see her so broken.

After about then minutes the sobs turned to sniffles and she raised her head to look me in the eye. "Well, I hope you were serious about the whole "if you ever need to talk to anyone about this stuff, or just vent in general, remember that I am here and willing to listen" stuff because otherwise this is really awkward."

Just to lighten the mood I had to add "Oh Lily dear I thought you would have realised by now that I am always serious, it is my name after all." She smiled miserably at me before leaning her head against my shoulder and letting out a sigh. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

I felt her nodding against my shoulder before she took a deep breath that I assumed was supposed to be calming. "Well I followed him out of the great hall and managed to get him to stop. He spun around and started to yell at me saying things about how we were barely friends anymore and how it was all my fault. And how it was obvious that I was trying to replace him with Gryffindors, especially you and how he didn't even know I was friends with you and that you would just ended up hurting me and that he couldn't believe that I would willingly spend time with the toerag that is Potter and how it was obvious that I was keeping things from him." She took another breath, her cheeks were wet with tears and she had voice had increased in both speed and pitch as she had continue speaking.

Once she had taken a few breaths she continued "So I was calmed him down a bit before he started on about how soon we would both be home for Christmas and he would be able to help me see how hanging out with you guys would be bad and I had to tell him that I might not be going home and he just stormed off. I think I'm losing him Sirius, he is my best friend and we barely talk anymore. I have told you more about what is happening with me today than I have told him in the last year. I can't lose him, Sirius, I wouldn't know the magic world without...out...t h...hi...himm." She burst into tears again and I felt like punching Snape in the face and potentially landing him in the hospital wing, not that I hadn't before or that I would regret it, but I felt that Lily needed me to stay out of detention for now at least.

"Aw Lily dear that sucks. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I'm sure he was just worried about you and stressed about OWLS and not thinking straight." I have no clue why I was trying to defend him but it seemed to help her a little bit. She nodded idly and kept staring at the floor.

Her voice sounded shaky when she said "Thanks Sirius, I know this probably isn't what you had planned for the evening, but thanks."

I gave her a small smile and tried to reassure her by saying "Lily dear, I will be here whenever you need help." She smiled soggily back at me.

We sat quietly for a few minutes before I her brow crinkled and she asked where we were. I couldn't help but laugh at this. We had been sitting in the passageway for the last forty minutes and she had only just noticed where we were. With the tension lifted she seemed to realise her delayed reaction as well and started snorting with laughter in a very un-Lily-like manner. She sat there laughing for a few minutes before I answered "We are in a secret passage way, it's a short cut to get to Gryffindor tower, only we marauders know about it as far as I am aware so I thought that we would be safe to sit in here and talk without anyone interrupting us." She smiled warmly before leaning back on the wall and staring straight ahead, obviously deep in thought.

"Hey Lily? I know you probably don't really want to think about this, but what are you going to do for Christmas?"

"To be honest, I have no clue. I want to see my parents and I want for my relationship with Sev to be okay, but I don't want to have Petunia mad at me for an entire holiday, I don't want to feel unwanted within my own home. So really I don't know yet."

"Why don't you just stay here? I mean, I know that you want to see your parents but you will see them at Easter anyway, and I know that Marlene is staying for the holidays and so are James, Peter, Remus and I, so it's not like you are going to be her alone. And I promise we will have heaps of fun and I'm sure that you can convince Remus to start studying with you, the rest of us won't join you but he will." I tried to make as compelling of an argument as I could, but once I finished I started wondering if Lily saw the marauders as an advantage or a drawback.

She looked at me and gave me a half smile. "I will think it through. But I promise to tell you when I have made my choice."

We sat and chatted about random things such as the homework we had to do and which teachers we would get rid of if we could until I looked at my watch and noticed that we had been sitting in there for an hour and a half. I jumped quickly announcing that if we didn't leave soon Remus would send out a search party for us. Together we walked the passage and ended up two paintings down from the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Together we stood before the Fat Lady and I announced "Fortiter". It meant brave in Latin. The portrait swung open to reveal all the 5th year Gryffindors sitting in front of the fire, doing their homework while waiting for us to arrive. At the last moment Lily pulled my arm and said "You promise not to tell anyone right, not even the marauders?"

"Of course Lily, I would never break your confidence." She smiled at me and we finally enter the common room. The rest of our group looked up and smiled as we entered, Marlene wrapping an arm around Lily as she sat down in silent support. Lily smiled around at every one before asking what she was supposed to do for homework, causing everyone else to laugh. Only Lily would think about homework when they were upset. So we all sat and did our homework, me included, helping one another and laughing when someone managed to flick ink on themselves when playing with their quill.

**Lily**

It was nice to have everyone helping one another with the homework and being able to get it done quickly. It made me smile to see my house actually acting like a family and I felt slightly guilty for preventing this from happening earlier.

After we all finished homework, I summoned some of my chocolate stash from upstairs and told everyone to dig in. Remus and James refused saying that they couldn't take all of my chocolate when there wasn't going to be another Hogsmeade visit until after Christmas. This caused all the girls to laugh so hard they were practically rolling on the floor, and me blush with embarrassment and explain that I had only summoned about a quarter of my chocolate stash, which in turn led to everyone laughing and me even joining in.

When we all decided that it was time for bed at 11, I thanked all the marauders for their help with homework and started making my way upstairs. When I was ready for bed I started snuggling into my covers until Mary, Marlene and Alice all jumped onto my bed. With Marlene asking "So did you like snog Sirius or something, come on you have to tell us!"

I abruptly burst out laughing at this. I was close to all these girls but I had never told them my secrets, I had always either kept them to myself or told Sev. But after today I decided that maybe it was time to share with them. "No, I swear I did not snog Sirius, that would be so gross. I have never thought of him in that way."

Alice lay back on my bed with me and asked "Okay so what is with the change?"

I decided to answer as truthfully as I could without telling Sirius' secrets. "This morning he saw me break down and then helped me to get over it. He stayed with me until I felt better and then said if I ever needed someone to talk to I could come to him and so when I fought with Sev he was the person I turned to."

"Why didn't you tell us? You know we are always here for you. In fact why is it that you never tell us any of your problems, we are your friends we are supposed to help." Mary's voice sounded slightly sad and accusatory when she said this.

"I don't know, I guess at first it was because I told Sev all my problems so I didn't need to tell you and then it was because I didn't want for you to see me as weak. I know that this sounds stupid but I didn't want for anyone to think that I was weak just because of my blood status." All the girls surrounding me looked affronted at this idea and Marlene let out an indignant squawk.

"How could you even think that? When had blood status ever mattered to us?" Alice stated angrily.

"I told you it was stupid and it wasn't just about you guys, my thoughts just followed that patterned for a while after I started getting called mudblood all the time. And then I guess it just became habit. I am really sorry though. I will try harder to break the habit I promise."

They all looked at me for a little while before Mary declared "Okay, that starts now. Tell us why you were upset today."

So I told them the whole story and showed them the letters, I explained my relationship with my sister and with Sev. At 12:30 I finally finished and they all decided to just sleep in my bed with me. I cast an extension charm and we all settled in for the night, before I remember Sirius' suggestion. "Hey Marly, are you staying here for Christmas this year?" A drowsy voice answered "Yeah, Jamie, Sirius, Remus, Peter and I are all staying."

I thought about this as I drifted off to sleep. Maybe staying here for Christmas wouldn't be so bad.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 6: Fights and Friends**

**Lily**

I woke in the morning confused as to why someone was cuddling me in bed. It took me a while before I remembered that the girls had all shared my bed last night. As I was the first person to wake, I decided that I would take my shower first and get ready before I woke them all.

After getting completely ready, I woke the girls up with a loud noise produced by my wand. It brought me a large amount of amusement but they didn't seem to find their rude awakening nearly as funny as I did. As they each set about getting read I checked over my homework and packed my bag with the books I would need. I had Herbology, Charms, Care of Magical Creatures, double Potions and then a Study period. For once I was completely dreading Potions. It was usually my favourite subject and due to assigned partners I always got to work with Sev, but I wasn't sure how today would go after our fight. I brushed those thoughts to the side and continued to get ready for the day.

At 7:30 we were all finally ready and decided to go down to get some breakfast before class. We chatted the whole way down to the great hall and I felt relieved to be able to speak so freely with these girls. It was strangely liberating to know that I could trust them and that now they had seen me at my worst, when I had broken down into tears and had to use someone else for support. It felt good to know that I had so many friends to put my trust in. I was smiling happily as we made our way over to Gryffindor table which was covered in an array of delicious breakfast foods. I decided to go for French toast with golden syrup. We all continued with breakfast until the marauders turned up. Their entrance was widely announced by a shouting Potter riding on Sirius' back. Sirius was spinning in circles in an obvious attempted to get Potter off his back. It kind of reminded me of an American rodeo, the bull riding thing. I let out a laugh along with the rest of the school at the spectacle. Finally Sirius managed to fling him off his back with Potter landing about a metre in front of me on the other side of the table, he promptly jumped up with a stupid smirk on his face and sat down in front of me. He turned his head slightly towards Sirius and announced "Thanks mate now I have a seat with a nice view for breakfast." He turned a ridiculous smile towards me and I couldn't help but snort at his stupidity before countering with. "Damn Sirius, the view from my seat is so bad I have lost my appetite." I pushed my plate away from me in mock disgust, where Potter took it from and promptly began eating it. Sirius was making his way around the table to sit next to me while I tried grabbing my plate from Potter, declaring "Get your own you bloody imbecile, that's mine I covered the toast to perfection, give it back you great lump."

He just laughed me off say "Yes they are covered to perfection, thanks. And you said you weren't hungry anymore and it would just be a waste to leave perfectly good food to go to waste."

Finally Remus whacked Potter over the back of the head and nodded in my direction. Potter pouted a little but still passed me back the plate, causing Sirius who had just sat down beside me to laugh and declare "Aw Potter scared of little Remmy are you?"

"Never. I am a Gryffindor. I am scared of nothing." Potter's voice was unnecessarily loud for 8 o'clock in the morning but I laughed none the less. Potter grinned back at me.

After that we all became semi-quiet with discussions about school work and food. I was kind of off with the fairies until Sirius elbowed me gently and asked quietly "How are you feeling today Lily dear? Given any thought to my suggestion?"

I gave him a small smile before responding "Yeah, I'm doing better today. I had a long chat with the girls last night and told them all my problems, don't worry I left your stuff out of it. It feels good to know I can trust them, so yeah everything has been good so far today. I am not looking forward to double potions today though. And to answer your second question, yes I have given it thought but I am still not entirely sure, I really miss my parents and want to see them, but I don't want the problems relating to home. So yeah, I am still deciding." He smiled back at me.

"I told the guys what happened yesterday, leaving out what your problems were of course, but James had already seen you become upset yesterday morning so it was pretty easy to explain while leaving out specifics. They all want for you to stay for the holidays but agree that is entirely your choice. And be warned they will be spending all day attempting to keep you happy and cheery hence the lovely back breaking display this morning. James thought it would make you laugh so he decided to kill me in his pursuit to make you happy. But to be honest I am glad to see you smiling as well."

Breakfast finished too quickly and we all hurried towards the greenhouses together, laughing and chatting. Marlene was walking beside me and at one point she leaned over and whispered "See I told you the guys weren't as bad as you always thought they were." I smiled in reply but couldn't help but think that maybe she was right.

**James**

It was good to see Lily talking and laughing properly today. My antics this morning had even gotten her to smile and as of yet she hadn't cursed or shouted at me, which I saw as major progress in our relationship. Maybe if I was lucky I could get her to start liking me by the end of the year. I don't think she hates me now, but she doesn't particularly like me either. She tolerates me for the sake of my friends.

I always new Padfoot and Moony were good for something.

The chatting and smiles continued until lunchtime. It was then that Lily realised that she was going to have to spend a double period, two and a half whole hours, working with her git of a friend, Snape. I still believed that we marauders should prank him and get him back somehow, but Siri and Remus did have a point when they said it would only end up hurting Lily, something that I never wanted to do.

After lunch we all trudged down to the Dungeons grumbling about how creepy and sinister it was down there. To lighten the mood Sirius pointed out "Of course they are creepy and sinister Slytherins live down here. Home reflects the heart does it not." This brought laughs from everyone including a little giggle from Lily herself. I was glad that we were all here to support her.

When we got into class Slughorn was waiting and already telling people to move to their assigned seating. I sat down next the Thorfinn Rowle, he growled in response to the death stare I sent him. As you can tell the love I had for him was mutual. He was just lucky I was trying not to piss off Lily today or I would have sent many hexes in his direction today. I was not in the mood to deal with Slytherin prats today.

**Lily**

I sat down beside Severus and gave him a small smile. "Are we okay Sev? I don't want to fight with you; you know you are my best friend."

He let out a heavy sigh and responded "Yeah Lily, I know. You are my best friend too. I just hate that you are starting to hang out with that prat Potter all the time lately."

"He's not that bad Sev. And I'm friends with both Remus and Sirius, how can you expect me not to come into contact with him?"

"That's another thing, since when have you been friends with Black?" his whisper was practically a hiss.

Slughorn called for silence and told us that we were going to be attempting to create Polyjuice Potion. I was excited at this idea but worried about what Sev had just said. After Slughorn stopped speaking Sev turned to me and stated "Okay so you go and grab the ingredients and I will start the fire. We will finish our discussion after we have finished the lesson. We both have a Study period next so we can pass notes in that."

I nodded at him sadly and walked away to get the ingredients. I couldn't help but feel brushed off. He didn't want to be seen talking to me. Why else would he want to pass notes to communicate? I mean of course we had done it before but he had never suggested it instead of a proper conversation when the opportunity was available.

The double period passed miserably with hissed mudblood's sounding every time I walked passed a Slytherin desk. When Rowle said it Potter elbowed him rather harshly in the ribs, earning a nod of gratitude from me. I swear it was getting worse and a part of me wondered if that was why Sev didn't want to spend time around me. It also made me wonder if he thought about me in that way also. The rest of his house did so why not him as well?

That idea hurt me more than anything else that was worrying me at the moment.

When the class ended I walked to great hall for the Study period. This was the only time that every fifth year was together in one room for a class. Everyone had this study period as preparation for the OWLs. The tables and chairs were set up in OWLs style and past papers were handed out for us to work on and hand in for marking. I decided to work on Transfiguration as it was my worst subject. I started on some questions about _Tentaclifors_ and then moved on to some more about _Avifors_. They were fairly easy so it was easy for me to send notes with Sev, while completing them. Sev and I both had a matching piece of parchment with an enchantment on it to send messages between them without other people being able to see what we were saying.

My conversation with Sev consisted mainly of me apologising and promising him that he was still my best friend while he got frustrated that we didn't spend as much time together. About half way through the lesson I got distracted from our conversation by a complex question about trans-species transformations. In an effort to answer the question to the best of my ability I neglected to answer Severus. At the end of the class when I looked back at the parchment realising that I had forgotten to answer him. His last few messages consisted of:

_At least you are coming home for Christmas and we can talk properly_

_ You are coming home aren't you?_

_ LILY! Are you planning on answering?_

_ What is school work more important than I am or are you talking to your Gryffindor friends?_

_ Tell Potter I said hi._

_ Don't even bother replying now Lily._

I felt bad for not responding to him but I really had just been trying to focus on how to answer the questions in the exam. I didn't even think that he would mind, he knew how much school meant to me, but his notes sounded so angry. I had no doubts now that I was going to end up losing him but I still wished that I could make him see the light somehow. I wished I could show him that joining Voldemort would only mean prejudice and hatred. If he went any further into the dark arts, I would not be able to help him; I would no longer be his friend. I wish he could see how much he was hurting me, maybe that would stop him. Although there was a part of me that doubted he would even care if he was hurting a mudblood.

**James**

We all made our way upstairs and together kicked some third years out from in front of the fire and did our homework like yesterday. It was pretty cool to be able to get almost all of our homework done in the two hour gap between our last class and dinner. I had quidditch practice for three hours after dinner so without this help I would never have been able to get as much work done as I had. It was easier when we had different people with different talents all helping one another. Alice was the Herbology expert, Lily had Charms, Remus had Arithmancy, Sirius had Defence, Mary had Divination, Peter had History of magic, Marlene had Care of Magical Creatures and I had Transfiguration. That was all my subjects counted for so it was nice to have some help and support in them.

Lily was extraordinarily quiet unless she was directly asked a question. We all left her alone because she seemed to be contemplating something important. She hadn't asked Sirius or any of the girls to speak privately, so I guessed that maybe she was too scared to voice the thoughts in her head.

I wished that she would talk to me but if she hadn't even spoken to Padfoot or the girls about it I highly doubt she would even consider telling me about it.

**A.N. Sorry this update took so long. I have about 5 assignments due at the moment and am a little stressed.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**To the amazing Yaz and apoorvam7 thank you both for reviewing!**

**Chapter 7: Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!**

**Lily**

Wednesday morning was always torture, it was right in the middle of the week when you had started getting tired and you realised that you still had forever to go until the weekend. I mean don't get me wrong I loved school and I love learning about every aspect of magic but Wednesdays always seemed to be the worst, however for once I didn't have my normal Wednesday blues I felt somewhat warm and happy.

Groaning I struggled to get myself out of bed, due to the sheets that had wrapped around my feet during the night, I was trying to remember what I had dreamed about. I couldn't really remember the details but I remember sitting with Sirius, Remus and James, I mean Potter, and just feeling happy. For some reason I also seemed to remember the feeling of someone's arm around my shoulder. I can't remember who but the gesture made me feel warm and cared for. Like the arm was protecting me from the world.

I finally untangled myself from the sheets and stumbled into the bathroom for a shower. Feeling bright this morning I decided to sing. Something I didn't always do but enjoyed when I did. I had an alright voice, nowhere near as good as my mothers' but it was fair. I remember my mother singing in the kitchen when I was younger, her voice filling the air as she scrubbed at the dishes and a smile lighting her face. I remember my dad attempting to join in with his tone deaf warbles and dancing my mother round the kitchen. I always wanted someone like that. Someone who would pull me close just because he wanted to. Someone who would draw me into a dance because he knew I would smile if he did.

Unfortunately I hadn't found that someone yet. Mum and dad met in high school and dad said it was love at first sight for him but mum always said she didn't even notice him until their last year. I continued to sing and think of my parent and their love for one another and also for me and Tuney. Even when they found out I was different they were proud, not upset. They never turned against me, only supported and loved me.

I shook my head trying to dislodge my thoughts. I missed my family so badly that it only hurt to think about them more than necessary.

When I left the bathroom after finishing getting ready, the rest of the girls were just starting to stir. I usually got up and ready first because otherwise I got caught in the middle of the fight for the bathroom. I swear sometimes it was like World War three in our dorm, however when I made that comment only Mary understood due to her half-blood status.

As they all started getting ready I sat down on my bed and started writing a letter to my parents. It detailed my classes and the new developments in my relationships with both the girls and the Marauders. I didn't talk about Sev but I told them everything else. I also mentioned assignments and homework, hinting to the fact that I might not be able to make it home for Christmas, but those were subtle enough to go unnoticed if you weren't looking for them.

After about two pages of writing the rest of the girls were ready, so I put my letter down and went down to breakfast with them. When we got down to the great hall the marauders were already waiting with spare seats beside them. Sirius was sitting on one side by himself while the other three sat facing him with repulsed looks on their faces as they watched him scarf down a half stack of pancakes, however from the look of the plates around him these were his third stack. I started down the side with the three boys while Marlene, Mary and Alice started down the other. I thought they were all following me but obviously they wanted to make it even. I sat down next to Potter, leaning across the table and smacking Sirius as I did so.

"Wha'?" he said with a full mouth.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you to close your mouth when you chew, or to have manner when you are in the presence of a lady?" I asked raising my eyebrow.

"You forget Lily dear, my mother is Satan personified, I was only even taught to be respectful to the dark arts." He poked his food covered tongue out at me to add to his mature response.

"Don't mind him Evans. If you continue sitting with us you will eventually get used to it we hope. To be honest we are still attempting to get used to it." James had wrapped his arm around me when he started his comment and I would be lying if I didn't admit that the same warmth I remembered from my dream was not wrapped around me in that moment. I must of been looking at him weirdly because he quickly removed his arm with a quick apology.

The second he removed his arm I was cold. It was like the room had dropped twenty degrees in the twenty seconds he had his arm around me. I instantly craved his warmth again, but mentally hit myself for thinking that. It was Potter for goodness sakes. How could I miss him? He was a toe-rag, wasn't he?

I smiled a little at him before turning back to Sirius and continuing our conversation.

**James**

i couldn't help but continue watching Lily throughout our breakfast. Despite the awkwardness when I put my arm around her shoulder she didn't seem all that displeased to be sitting next to me this morning. It was a small triumph for me but there was also an evil, asshole part on my brain reminding me that she could just be nice because she is friends with my friends. She actually smiled at me once as if she felt guilty for pulling a face when I put my arm around her.

To be honest that was a really stupid move. Firstly, she could have hexed me and landed me in the hospital wing for it, secondly, I didn't want to ruin what little friendship I had with her and thirdly, that moment with my arm around her was perfect and it would just add to my daydreams about her. I felt like my arm rested there perfectly and she fit perfectly next to my body. I would never admit this to anyone obviously, but from the discreet looks that Paddy was sending me I could tell he knew what I was thinking. We had practically been brothers for so long that we didn't need to speak for us to understand one another sometimes.

I was irrevocably in love with Lily, but she hated my existence a vast majority of my life. Oh and there was a war waging beyond the gates of Hogwarts that we were all going to have to survive eventually, nothing major really. To be honest my only thoughts about the war half the time were about whether or not Lily would survive, because I would do anything to protect her. Not that she would ever know that about me.

**Lily**

The morning went quickly with Arithmancy (or divination for my silly friends except for Remus) and History of Magic (which most people aside from Remus and I slept through). Unlike other people, I found History of Magic interesting. I mean yes, Professor Binns was excruciatingly boring and tedious at times. But I found it interesting to be able to relate magic history to muggle history. Dad is a major history buff meaning that I could relate the two histories and see their impacts on one another. It was funny because sometimes something magical would cause a problem in muggle society. It was funny to see how oblivious the muggle community are and by extension how oblivious I was when I was younger.

Before lunch we had a study period. Sitting there I tried not to think about my conversation, or lack thereof, with Sev and how we hadn't spoken since. I was really hungry and kept getting distracted but I did manage to finish all the work that I had missed on Monday. I had started all the work the night before, but was proud of myself none the less. However I hadn't gotten to any of the homework for arithmancy. I would just have to stay up late tonight to finish it. I had always tried to stay on top of my homework. I always tried to finish the homework given the day that it was given so I wouldn't forget any. An attitude only Remus and I shared out of all our friends.

Strangely though, my thoughts kept drifting to that morning. i couldn't help but think about Potters warmth and feeling happy in my dream. It was strange. I was feeling confused about a boy for the first time in my life.

**James**

Finally after lunch we had transfiguration. It was my best subject and by far the most fun. To be honest it was the only subject I actually paid attention to and didn't daydream about Lily in. I was the best in the class closely followed by Sirius, then Lily and then Remus. We were the only four in the class that were expected to get O in our O.W.L.s. When we got to class McGonagall was already standing at the front of the classroom writing on the blackboards. She could do it by magic so I suspected she was only writing by hand of the sake of dramatics. As much as Minnie loved to get us in trouble for our pranks she two had a flare for the dramatics, hence her ever changing victory dances around Slughorn every year when Gryffindor wins the Quidditch cup.

She spun on her heal when we were all seated and began "The Draconifors Spell is a Transfiguration spell used to transform small objects into Dragons, which can then be controlled by the caster. The dragons produced from this spell are much smaller and less powerful than true dragons, and their size depends on the object from which they are transfigured meaning that a smaller object will produce a smaller dragon, and a larger object will produce a larger dragon. We will be attempting this spell ourselves once you have copied the information and drawings from the board." She sat behind her desk in silence and watched as we all continued on with our work. Eventually students began to attempt the spell on the rocks placed on the desks in front of us.

Lily, Remus, Sirius, Marlene and I were able to accomplish it before the lesson ended as well as a couple of the Hufflepuffs in our class. As the class ended McGonagall got up and said "Well I am proud to see that some of you have accomplished this spell. Don't worry if you have not we will continue practicing next lesson. You are not to perform this spell outside of the classroom, for obvious reasons. Yes I am looking towards you James and Sirius." This statement drew a laugh from Lily and a big mischievous grin from both Sirius and I. "Your homework is 6 inches on the origin and use of this spell. Thank you students you may leave."

We all dragged ourselves from the classroom and continued on with the day. It was rather uneventful but at least at the end of the day we all sat down together again and helped one another with homework. Suddenly when we were all quiet and focusing Lily spoke up with "You know I never would have expected to be sitting down with the marauders and doing homework. I mean really I never would have even guessed that you ever did homework." She grinned at us cheekily before Remus let out a disgruntled huff leaving Lily to amend her statement with "Aside from Remus that is."

I was the first one to speak up. "This time last year we wouldn't be Evans, but we all want to become Aurors meaning that we need to obtain N.E.W.T.s in Potions, Defence Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Herbology, and Charms and no grade lower than "Exceeds Expectations" in any of them. Therefore we need to actually work this year so that we can qualify to get into those NEWT courses."

She looked slightly shocked for a few moments before asking "You all want to be Aurors too?" We all nodded solemnly but there was a part of me that wanted to yell out and tell her she couldn't become an Auror. I mean, what if she got hurt. I would never forgive myself. Yes I do know that those ideas are stupid and that Lily has the ability to care for herself (I had been on the other end of her wand one too many times) but I wanted her safe even if it killed me. After that we were all quiet, some focusing on homework and some just deep in thought (or in Pete's case sleeping on the couch in a ball).

**I am soooooooo sorry for the late posts. I have a billion and one uni assessments due... including one tomorrow which I haven't started yet. Please don't hate me too much I will try to post some more chapters soon.**

**I love you all and apologise profusely **


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 8: Letters**

**Lily**

The next morning, I sat at breakfast earlier than the rest of the group after deciding to race Mary down. I ducked down one of the few secret passages I knew and ran all the way to the Gryffindor table. I sat down casually and waited until Mary ran through the door screaming "YEA-OH". Her face had dropped from one of jubilation to a pout of frustration. I always managed to beat her when we did these races so I don't know why she even tried anymore. I poked my tongue out at her maturely as she sat down across from me with a frown upon her face.

"It's not fair now that you are friends with Black. He can tell you the secret passages." She muttered grumpily. I gave her a quick laugh before shaking my head and replying "Nah, I found that one myself when I was trying to escape from some Slytherins last year. I leant against the wall to catch my breath and went straight through it. Scary as hell. So I followed the tunnel to see where it came out and ended up one hallway away from the great hall. To be honest I have been saving that trick for a while. I wanted to give you false hope." I smiled gleefully at the death glare she attempted to send my way.

Quickly that glare became a grin as she laughed and said "Only you would store information about a secret passageway just to use it against you friends." I poked my tongue out at her and giggled myself.

Eventually the Marlene, Alice and the Marauders all sat down with us to eat. Sirius sat right next to me and proceeded to make me laugh while I was attempting to eat. Half way through breakfast I looked towards the Slytherin table to see Sev staring back at me with a frown on his face. I raised my hand in a small wave and smiled sadly at him, but he didn't return it instead he spun towards his death eater friends and ignored me. I must have made some noise because Sirius looked up from his meal and followed my line of sight.

He quickly pulled me towards me in a side hug and tucked my head into his shoulder. "Have you spoken to him recently?" I nodded my head against him and he continued "And I'm guessing it didn't go too well?" Again I just nodded. "Can you tell me what happened?"

I swallowed thickly and told him about our conversation during the study period and me being distracted and not answering him. I whispered it all into his shirt and then proceeded to admit that I was worried that he didn't want to be seen talking to me publicly. Sirius just whispered words of encouragement and support and kept his arm around me in protection. There was a small part of me that couldn't help but compare Sirius to James. For some unknown reason I couldn't help but wish that it was James holding me. There was something about the gesture coming from him that made me feel warm inside. Not that it didn't make me feel supported and cared for when Sirius did it but I felt loved when James had done it. Even if it was in my dreams, for the past two nights might I add.

**Sirius**

I looked towards Prongs to see his reaction to me holding Lily. I knew that he loved her so there was a part of me that thought he may get angry because I was holding her and not him. But he didn't seem angry he seemed pained. Like he wanted to do something to help the situation but was helpless. That was Prongs worst fear. To be helpless. That was why we all learnt how to duel together and to become animagi. Prongs needed to do something to help Moony and refused to just watch as Remus continued to hurt himself and we learnt to duel so that when something happened we could protect others. I mean we all knew about the war even if we were protected and sheltered in Hogwarts.

James saw me looking and raised his eyebrows, obviously asking if she was alright and what he could do to help. He was always like that. It was the main reason he was my best friend. He always wanted to help, and it ran in his family. They had taken me in at the beginning of this year when I ran from my parents after another round of beating. They already call me their son and James has been counting me as his brother since first year.

I shook my head a little and gave him a sad smile. We both just looked at her wishing that she didn't have to endure everything she was going through. Even if James had never been told what issues Lily was dealing with, he could sense that she was upset. When it came to Lily the quote by C.S. Lewis came to mind "while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more."

**Lily**

I finally took a deep breath and thanked Sirius. I sat up straight and put pretended that everything was fine. I knew that all my friends could see through it but at least they went along with it.

In the last 20 minutes of breakfast the Owl post came. My black barn owl came swooping down towards me. Persephone landed gently in front of me and rubbed her head against my hand in a small act of comfort. She then offered her leg so I could take off the three letters attached, one from my parents, one from Petunia and one from Molly Prewett. In my excitement to read Molly's letter I neglected the ones from my family. Of course I missed them but I knew from Arthur's letters that he had planned to propose. Molly and Arthur became role models for me when I came to school at Hogwarts. I had first met them when I was in second year and they were in fifth. They helped protect me when some Slytherin fourth years were after me. Molly came to my defence and then Arthur to hers. We had become friends after that. They were like older siblings to me. They helped me with my homework and looked out for me. They had graduated last year and I missed them terribly but they still wrote on occasion which I always looked forward to.

I tore open the seal and read the contents hungrily.

_My dearest Lily,_

_ You will never believe my exciting news! Arthur has proposed! Don't worry we will wait until the summer holidays so that you can attend! He was so romantic and cute as he stumbled over his words to tell me how much he loved me and I just swooned._

_ I know that we are you and most people will say that we should wait, but it is a dangerous world out here and I don't want to waste one minute by not being with the man I love. Please be happy for me. I love him with all my heart and cannot wait to start a family with him, just a small one though, I think I would go crazy if I had a house full of kids. _

_ I think for the wedding we will have it in the garden of his parents house. They are beautiful and the flowers bloom so colourfully in the summer. I have so much to plan over the next seven months but don't worry I will keep you in the loop about all the preparations and maybe over the Easter break you could come dress shopping with me. _

_ Lily the one thing I wish for you is that you find someone to love as much as I love Arthur. Someone who will hold your hand and protect you even through the darkest times. Someone who will love you unconditionally and accept both your faults and your strengths. I hope that you will find a man to hold your heart and give you his in return. Please Lily you, of all the people I know, deserve to be happy. Your kindness, beauty and courage will make someone fall head over heels for you, I just hope when you find that man you can accept him and love him back._

_ Arthur sends his love and tells you to keep up the good work at school. He has been in contact with Professor Flitwick who says you are absolutely brilliant. Which of course we already knew._

_ I miss you heaps._

_ Love Molly Prewett (soon to be Weasley)_

I continued to smile gleefully at the letter until Remus tapped my leg with his foot and asked what I was grinning so happily about. I giggled and informed them all (and probably a vast majority of the people surrounding me) of the engagement. We all began chattering excitedly about the fact that someone we all knew was getting married and I couldn't help but think that maybe we would be alright in this world if love was still in abundance.

**A.N. Again I am so sorry I forgot to post this earlier but university is hell and my classes have about a billion reading, assignment and tests on at the moment. I love you all. Follow me on tumblr at **


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 9:** **Prejudice**

**James**

I wasn't going to be the one to remind Lily about the fact that she had two more letters to open. I was too worried that something would upset her, and after reading her letter from Molly she seemed so happy that it would have been cruel of me to potentially make her upset. We were on our way to herbology and while we marauders all discussed whether a pygmy puff or a ferret would win in a fight, the girls were discussing love and marriages due to the war. I listened to both conversations. I had learned this skill at one of the many balls and galas I had attended with my parents (stupid ministry shit if you asked my opinion). I would often sit there in a conversation with some of the other children while also eavesdrop on my parents conversation. You always found out the most accurate information that way.

I was concerned however when Lily said "I probably won't ever get married, I don't want to be a burden on whoever is stuck with me." Her friends laughed it off but I could tell that she was being Sirius. I stole a quick glance towards her and she was staring off in front of her obviously in contemplation.

All through herbology, care of magical creatures and charms I sat there and tried to figure out what Lily meant by being a burden. I mean to me Lily would be a treasure not a burden. It wasn't until we were on our way to lunch that I figured it out.

As we walked towards the Great Hall, Lily and Marlene decided to have a race. Lily was fit but she didn't have the speed that Marlene had. Marlene pulled ahead of Lily and Lily ahead of us. As we kept walking for about five minutes before we rounded one of the corners and saw Lily on the floor her wand pointing up with a look of both fear and determination on her face. Held in the air with a levitating spell was Evan Rosier. His wand was clutched in Lily's hand and now that I looked closely there was a tear in her robes and blood dripping from her scalp. I was unsure if that was because of a curse or if Rosier had just tripped her and caused her to be injured. Sirius and I were the first to recover from the shock of seeing Lily like that. We ran forward.

Sirius looped his arms around Lily and whispered to her to put Rosier down gently. The moment he touched the floor I put a body bind curse on him and made sure he wouldn't move. I turned back to see Lily collapse into Sirius' arms a sadness in her expressive green eyes. I turned to Wormtail and Moony and told them to find a teacher. Alice and Mary went over to Lily and sat there with her in quiet support. I walked over to Lily who was still clutching the wand in her hand. I bent down in front of her and tried to release the wand from her grasp. She seemed to be staring without seeing. "Lily. Lily, sweetie. I need you to let go. Everything is okay. We've got you, nothing's going to happen, but I need you to give me the wand. Honey, please." I continued my quiet coaxing until her eyes drew into focus on me and she let go of the wand. I smiled gently at her before standing up. I was going to give her some space to calm down, but she reached out and grabbed my leg and said with a quiet and trembling voice, "No, please don't go. Just... just sit. Please."

I looked down at her and nodded. I sat down next to her and slid my hand up and down her back in a comforting gesture. I knew that she was just feeling scared and wanted reassurance so I wasn't getting my hopes up that she could possibly like me. In mean Lily disliked me at the very least. I looked up at her head and noticed that the cut was still bleeding rather heavily. I didn't know where the cut had come from so I wasn't going to risk healing it on my own, but I knew I had to staunch the blood somehow. I took the scarf from around my neck and scrunched it up before applying it to her forehead. She was shaking somewhat as well so I took off my robes and wrapped them around her. Both in an attempt to warm her and also to comfort her.

Eventually Professor Flitwick turned up and got the full story from Lily. Rosier had hit Lily with a tripping jinx and sent her flying head first into a wall. Then had attempted to stun her, a spell which she had dodged. She spun around and disarmed him and then performed a levitating spell to keep him away from her. Flitwick gave him ten Saturday detentions (which meant he was out of Quidditch) and took 200 points from Slytherin. I had been hoping for expulsion but his father was on the board for the school and would not allow it to pass through. A fact that Flitwick was obviously aware of.

I turned to Lily and performed a healing charm on her head to stop the flow of blood. She thanked me and we all went to the hall for lunch. We all sat quietly and Marlene gave us a concerned and confused expression. Moony and Pete had found a teacher and then told her what had happened. I was a sombre lunchtime and we ate quickly. When we got up to leave, the rest of the Padfoot, Moony and I move around Lily in protective positions. We didn't need to discuss it but we all knew that we would do anything to protect her. Not only because she was our friend but also because the guys knew that I loved her.

We all walked to Defence, with Pete and the girls following us. Once we go into class Professor Invidiam told us to move into our seats and copy the information off the board. We were learning about Werewolves a topic we all would have laughed at if it hadn't had Invidiam as a teacher. He stood there and rambled on and on about how dangerous werewolves and how they shouldn't be allowed in society and how they should be alienated. My anger was gradually growing and I was having a hard time dealing with concealing it. Just as I was about to snap I saw Lily bound from her seat and scream "Oh shut up you prejudiced moron."

The entire class sat there in shock as the quiet, sweet, studious Lily shouted at a teacher. I mean this was Lily Evans, she only ever yelled at Sirius and I.

"Excuse me Miss Evans. Do you think me wrong? Do you assume to know more than me?" Invidiam's voice drawled with a dangerous underlying tone.

"No, sir I just find you to be misguided and prejudiced sir." Lily's voice had a dangerous tone also. "How can you say that no werewolves belong in society? They are regular average human beings. The only time they have issues is the full moon and they only occur once a month. Werewolves are no more dangerous in their human form than any other. They only have a slight problem once a month. By that same reasoning should women also not be a part of average society. I mean once a month we have issues. Should we be shunned and alienated? Shouldn't you be teaching caution on full moons and the characteristics to look at not your own biased, prejudiced, closed minded views?"

Invidiam looked as if he had tasted a lemon. "Detention Miss Evans. Tonight. 7 o'clock."

Lily just performed a small curtsey, grabbed her bag and her books and said "I refuse to listen to any more of your drivel." She stomped through the classroom with her head held high and slammed the door after her. I swear I had just fallen a bit further in love with her at that moment. She had just inadvertently stood up for my friend. The kind, caring girl who was prejudiced against herself was selfless enough to refuse to look upon any other individual as less than herself. I would have kissed her if I thought she would let me.

The rest of the lesson passed uneventfully with Invidiam writing facts up on the board and us all copying down the notes. I made sure to make mine as fastidious as Lily's would have been so that she could just have a copy of mine when she needed them.

**Lily**

Once I left the classroom. I went to the library. I already knew a lot about werewolves. I had researched them when I figured out that Remus was a werewolf in third year. Sev always speculated but I always tried to shut him down. Remus didn't need to be alienated. Obviously the other Marauders knew about his condition and to be honest it was the one thing I had liked about them for many years. They were never prejudiced (except against Slytherins) and they always treated others as equals (even Slytherins).

The period went by quickly and I started making my way towards the study room. I borrowed a few extra books I wanted to look at and left. When I got down to the study room all of my fellow Gryffindor fifth years were waiting for me.

"So how does it feel to get your first detention?"

"Wow, Lils, you fiery red head you."

"Well done."

"That was very awesome."

"You should have seen that assholes' face when you left."

These comments all mingled in my brains and it was hard to figure out who had said what. They all were grinning conspiratorially at me and I found it hard to meet their eyes. When we walked in I realised that neither James nor Remus had said anything.

We all sat down and did our work I looked over at Remus a few times but he refused to meet my gaze even though he knew I was looking at him. James just grinned at me with something like pride in his eyes.

I really hope that Remus would trust me to actually tell me the truth now. I mean, he really was a good friend and I didn't want to lose him just because he is scared of how I would react.

**Remus**

I couldn't even look at Lily. I mean what if she found out the truth. It is very different to say that you accept werewolves if you don't know any than to find out your friend was one. I mean I was a danger to society. Invidiam was right. I should be segregated and alienated. If I was alone then I would only be able to hurt myself. I always felt guilty for being at Hogwarts. I had the potential to hurt others and turn them into a monster like me.

If I was honest with myself, I needed Lily. I needed her friendship and her support. I needed her ego-deflating comments to both James and Sirius. I needed her intelligent discourse. I needed someone else who was bright and tried hard to do their work, someone that I could rely on to catch me up with the proper notes for all the classes I missed. I need the girl that James is in love with to care about me too. I need her because if I lose her I might lose James as well and he and Sirius were the first to accept me for who I am.

**I am really sorry and I am sure you hate me but I have only just finished all my assignment for Uni! Yay! I'll try and post two more chapters before I go away on holidays. Thank you for reading. You are amazing.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 10:** **A Heart Broken in Two**

**Lily**

After dinner I was exhausted but happy to be finished with everything I had to do. I sat their reading for a while answering the occasional questions of my friends and trying to get Remus to look at me. I really hope he has figured out that I don't care that he is a werewolf but there is a part of me that knows that he hasn't yet put two and two together and figured out that my rant in class was because I wanted to support him and to stop our stupid teacher from spreading prejudice.

When we all went to bed, I crawled up to my pillows and started to pack my bag for tomorrow. When I picked up my care of magical creatures textbook two letters fell out. I had forgotten about the letters from Petunia and my parents in my haste to read Molly's letter. I placed them to the side and finished packing my bag before settling back into my pillows and opening the letters. I read Mum and Dad's first

_To our dearest little darling Lily_

_ Hello from home sweetheart. We are all missing you so much! We recently had Pet's boyfriend Vernon to our house for a quiet dinner. He is an interesting man. _**No he is bloody not, Lily dear your mother is lying. The man was a bore and only spoke about his job and how much he is earning. I swear I would rather take about table salt. **_Ignore your father dear he has been rather grouchy today. I think he hasn't been sleeping properly again, which is probably my fault as I have a cold and am snoring the roof off. Don't worry though I am on the mend and your father should start getting more sleep soon._

_How is school honey? Dating a nice boy yet? _**You had better not be. All boys must stay more than 2 metres away from you all points in time. If I hear that you are dating I will hunt down the boy down. I know he can't retaliate because you can't use magic outside school. **_Sorry love your father is being a pain. It's a good thing we love him, right? Are you getting all your work done? How are Mary, Alice and Marlene? And Severus, is he enjoying the semester? Are the Gryffindor boys still harassing you? _

_Home is rather boring without you here. We miss you so much princess. We will see you soon. _

_Love you with all our hearts,_

_Mum and Dad (the people who gave you life and raised you)_

I smiled at my parents letter. Whenever I read something from them it always made me smile. They had this way of writing that made me feel as if I was back home sitting on the couch with them as they asked about my day. I loved and missed them so much it hurt. I really wanted to go home for Christmas. I swear I was developing withdrawal symptoms from not seeing them often enough.

I turned to Petunia's letter and slid the single sheet out of the envelope. She never really wrote much so I wasn't surprised by the small letter however a sense of dread washed over me as I unfolded the page.

_You have not answered my previous letter, yet you have answered mum and dad's so I am taking that to mean that you are ignoring me. I want to inform you that if you do return home I will never forgive you. I can deal with your freakishness as long as it is hidden away from the world but I refuse to let it jeopardise the one thing that is important to me. If you come home I will hate you more than I already do. _

_Don't come home. You are not wanted. You never were. Why do you think mum and dad sent you off to the freak school? It's because nobody loves you. _

**James**

For some reason tonight I couldn't sleep, I just didn't feel tired. It was like I had some irrational dread that I couldn't suppress. I just kept thinking of the letters that Lily hadn't read this morning. Last time she had got really upset it had been because of a letter, and a part of me was scared that she would be upset again. It hurt me to see her upset.

We had come up to bed about half an hour earlier than the girls and the guys had all fallen asleep pretty quickly. I started to read some of my history of magic textbook in the hope that it would help me to fall asleep. After about five minutes I got bored and decided to look at the map. I always found it fun to look for couples hooking up in the broom closets, their foot prints intermingling. It was always a little disturbing when I saw it happen with Sirius though.

**Sirius**

I got woken barely an hour into sleep by James shaking me rather harshly.

"Sirius, mate, you have to wake up. Mate, Padfoot, I need your help. Brother. Paddy. Wake the hell up."

I finally opened my eyes enough to glare at him for waking me up but my expression shifted to concern when I saw the frown lines on James's forehead. "Mate, it's Lily. She just went flying from her dormitory. She was running towards the room of requirement. Something has to be wrong and I am worried. Please can you just go look after her. Here." James shoved the cloak and map into my hands and started dragging me from bed. It took a while for my brain to catch up and tell me that Lily was upset. A protective side of my heart demanded that I go straight to her and make sure she was okay, but my brotherly part of me lead me over to James.

"Prongs, brother, it is going to be okay. I'll make sure she is okay. I promise. By tomorrow morning she will be laughing again. I promise. I will take care of her." I almost solemnly swore but a part of me was worried that I wasn't going to be able to do it, and I never wanted to break a solemn swear.

James nodded his head and I bolted from the room. I looked at the map as I sprinted down the stairs and noticed that Lily was already pacing in front of the room of requirement. I took several secret passages and arrived in front of it in no time. I paced a couple of times thinking "I have to help Lily, show me Lily." Eventually a door opened up and sitting on the ground in front of me was Lily. Or what was left of Lily. There was a part of me that broke when I saw her. It was as if someone had torn out her heart and stomped on it. The look of utter devastation was worse than anything I had ever seen before. I would rather have been tortured by my father again than witness Lily in this state. She was broken and a part of me believed that the damage was irreparable.

"She hates me." Her voice sounded dead, as if she wasn't capable of emotion. The room was bland, as if she hadn't been able to even imagine something to comfort her. She sat on her knees in the middle of the barren room with tears streaming down her face. But to be honest I didn't think she even knew she was crying. I walked slowly towards her careful not to scare her and dropped myself next to her.

"Lily..."

"How did you know where I was?"

"Um, James was about to go downstairs when he saw you run from the common room, he figured that you must be upset seeing as how you broke curfew and asked me to come and check on you." I managed to tell her a version of the truth while maintaining the secrets that we marauders shared only between ourselves.

"She hates me Sirius." Her dead voice sent shivers through me.

"I'm sure she doesn't actually hate you. You're her sister." She thrust a letter into my hand and I instantly recognised the handwriting of Petunia from the previous letter I had read. My eyes got caught on one comment in particular "_will hate you more than I already do._" Goddamn that girl is a bitch. Who could ever speak to Evans like that? I mean even when I was anger with her for dobbing us in or for being a general party pooper, I still could never hate her. I didn't even hate her despite the fact that she had turned down my best friend and brother thousands of times and crushed him with every "no".

I didn't know what to say so I just scooped her into my arms and held her to my chest. After about an hour she whispered "I am staying her for Christmas." There was no excitement in her voice. No Lily-ness. Just pain and misery and I for one could not blame her. Her heart had just been broken in two, and by her sister no less.

At around three in the morning Lily finally cried herself to sleep. I had imagined up a sofa and fire at around one so I was sitting comfortably with Lily lying on my lap and a wet patch on my knee where her tears had seeped through. I gently pulled my mirror from my pocket, careful not to wake Lily and whispered James' name into it.

He answered almost immediately "Your breaking your promise aren't you." His voice was so matter of fact that I couldn't do anything but nod. "I knew when you didn't solemnly swear that you were worried. How bad is she?"

"Prongs, brother, she is broken. Seriously I don't know what to do. Her sister wrote her a letter telling her that she hated her and not to go home because she wasn't wanted. Who could ever tell that to Lily? I mean yeah I expect it when it comes from _my_ family but for someone to say that to Lily... I just don't understand it."

"Where is she now?"

"She finally cried herself to sleep a little while ago. She is currently lying in my lap asleep." James just nodded at me.

"So she will be staying here for Christmas?"

"Yeah she will, but I know it is killing her. She misses her parents heaps and she really wanted to go home to see them."

"Paddy, you just gave me a great idea." James grinned at me. "Go to sleep mate. Keep Lily in there for tomorrow and I will organise everything. Don't worry I will get Remus to help."

"Mate, when it comes to you and Lily, I know you would only do what was best." We said goodnight and I slumped down on the couch and fell asleep.

**A.N. hello my little dumplings! You are amazing if you just read that chapter. Follow me on tumblr at **


	11. Chapter 11

**I'm sorry! My laptop died! I have been without my laptop for nearly three weeks! It has been torture but I have about four chapters hand written which I will type up and post in between work and uni! I am so sorry and I LOVE YOU!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 11:** **Solutions**

**James**

I stayed up all night figuring out what I was going to say before I woke Moony up and ran it past him. He nodded his head sleepily and ensured me that it sounded fine before rolling over to go back to sleep. I let him go back to sleep as I quietly showered and got dresses. I swear this was the first time in all my years of schooling I put on my uniform properly. The shirt was tucked in, the tie tight. I even polished my shoes and tied them properly.

I left the room at half past six and began the journey to Dumbledore's office.

To be honest, this was the first time I was actually nervous to go to Dumbledore's office. Whenever I had come here for some rule I had broken, I always knew the outcome. I would receive some sort of punishment. But today was different. Today I was making a request of Dumbledore. I knew I didn't deserve his kindness but I hoped he would be generous.

"Jersey Caramels." I tried to speak with strength but instead produced a squeaky nervous sounding noise. The gargoyle nodded and moved aside and I gradually made my way up the steps to the door.

I tapped the door evenly and sharply. "You may enter James." Of course he bloody knew who it was Dumbledore knew everything that happened here at Hogwarts.

I opened the door and muttered a good morning as he gestured to the seat in front of his desk. I sat down and looked up at him, trying to compose myself enough to start my proposal. "James, I know that you are here to ask me a question so why don't you proceed so we can go to breakfast." He smiled gently down at me in encouragement.

"Sir, I would like to ask for a favour. Lily can't go home for Christmas because there is a family acceptance problem that I'm not entirely clear on but basically her sister is resentful of the fact that Lily is a witch, so she can't go home. But sir I would like for Lily to spend one day with them so I would like to organise for her to stay here for majority of the holidays but have one day before Christmas where she gets to see her parents preferably without her sister present. So I was thinking that you could connect the school flu network to her home and she could go home for the day maybe on the twenty third and then return after dinner that evening. That way she at least gets some time with her parents and she won't feel as homesick. Please sir I know this is a lot to ask but I will do anything to fix this." I had spoken in a kind of rush to get all the information out before I rethought the whole plan.

"I believe that to be a reasonable plan James, but I will also take you up on your offer. If you promise me that there will be no pranks over the coming holiday, I will organise for Lily to go home and spend a day with her parents. If you agree to my condition I will speak with Lily's parents and the ministry to organise everything today and confirm it with you tonight." He gave a slight pause before asking. "So are you willing to go prank-free for one holiday James?"

I simply stared at the second greatest man I had ever met, the first being my own father, and thanked Merlin for his kindness. "Sir, I can promise that there will be no pranks this holiday from the marauders if you are able to do this for our Lily."

"I have noticed, as of late, that Miss Lily Evans has been getting close to Sirius Black. I assume that it is just friendship and that their similar circumstances have given them a strong connection."

"As always sir you are correct." I couldn't help but smile at the comment. He really was always right.

At breakfast I explained to Remus and Peter what was happening and told the girls where Lily was and that Sirius was looking after her. They were all very concerned. I mean it was very unlike Lily to miss classes, especially two days in one week. The day passed slowly with me taking notes diligently in defence, care of magical creatures, transfiguration and charms so that Lily would be up to date in those subjects and I know that Remus took notes in the other subjects. We had to explain to each of the teachers that Lily was dealing with family issues at the moment but would be certain to catch up on all of the work that she had missed. It was harder to explain that Sirius was the person looking after her so we just let them assume that he was wagging for the day, it wouldn't be the first time he had done so. I knew him as well as I knew myself and he would happily take those detentions just to look after a friend. By dinnertime I was so anxious that I couldn't eat. I was still waiting for Dumbledore to confirm that Lily was going to get to go home for one day.

**Sirius**

Lily and I had done nothing for the entire day. She had simply sat on the couch reading. It was some book that she loved from when she was younger. She still seemed broken and barely spoke to me. She hadn't eaten and seemed to just stare into space absently in silent contemplation. I had to settle for just my presence comforting her. By lunch time I had gotten so bored that I had started doing some study notes for Defence. I really just hoped that James would come through.

He and I had spoken a couple of times during the day through the mirror but I don't think Lily even noticed. A part of me wished she would scream and throw things but instead, it seems like a part of her has died.

**Lily**

She hated me. She really hated me. There was a part of me that really couldn't understand that properly. She is my sister, how can she hate me?

I knew I was being weak by breaking down, but I had already decided that I was only giving myself the day. Tomorrow I would be fine. Or, at least, I would pretend to be. But today I would shut down I would let my broken heart control me and block out the repercussions. Today I would be broken. I would sit here and pretend to read Little Women and be broken.

**James**

In the middle of dinner, a letter was delivered to me by one of the school owls. The letter was simple.

_Lily has permission to leave the school on the 23__rd__ December and has a special day planned for her. Please bring Mr Black, Miss Evans and yourself to my office this evening so I may discuss it with you all. _

_ Sincerely wishing you well_

_ Professor Albus Dumbledore_

I grinned to myself and sprinted off, leaving Moony and Wormtail calling after me. By the time I reached seventh floor I was out of breath and up one detention (for crashing head first into Professor McGonagall as I rounded a corner). I don't think I have ever seen her more exasperated with me. As I stood in front of the wall I realised that the only thing I knew about the room they were using was that they were in it, so I just thought "Show me Lily and Sirius." After passing three times in front of the wall a door appeared.

**A.N. Seriously guys I am so sorry but I haven't been able to post because I have had no laptop! It has been torture!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 12:** **Show of Support**

**Sirius**

By 7 I had already finished writing my notes for the next topic of both Defence and Herbology. I had legitimately gotten so bored that I had started doing study! We still had an entire semester until OWLs and yet I was studying. Part of me just accepted that I needed to distract myself from Lily. She just sat there. She had all day. Looking so broken that it tore my heart to shreds. I may have fought with her and taunted her for years, I may have been angry with her for dobbing her in but she was one of our own so I would always protect her. I mean James loved her, making her one of us by extension. It would be the same for any of us.

But getting to know her this week and seeing the vulnerable side of her for once made me ache because obviously she trusted me, and that was something that never happened. Aside from the James, Remus and Peter, no-one trusted me. My family never had, teachers never had. But for some unknown reason despite everything I had done to her in the past and how many times we had taunted one of her friends she still had deemed me trustworthy. I had decided that I would do anything to keep that trust.

There was also a part of me that knew I could trust her. And I didn't trust anyone who wasn't a marauder.

By 8 I was bored out of my brain and hoping the James would hurry the hell up. I seriously (no pun intended) needed something to give Lily some life. Even if it was fighting with James, I didn't care. I had moved to sit closer to Lily a little while ago and was rubbing her back absentmindedly. To be honest I don't even think she realised that I had move let alone was touching her. I was contemplating screaming to see if she would react at all when James came crashing through the door. The best part was that he tripped on his own robes as he came through and smacked down onto the floor. I couldn't help but release a small laugh at that. The sound echoed around the room but still Lily didn't react she sat staring at the same page of her book that she had been looking at for the past three hours.

James jumped up and scowled at me before slowly making his way over to Lily. He knelt before her with a look of sadness in his eyes. It was like he knew that his Lily was gone.

**James**

I knelt before Lily hoping that she would at least notice me but it was obvious that she was in her own head. That she was putting up walls because she felt that they would protect her from getting hurt again. "Lily, Lils, can you look at me for a second? Lily, please, I have something important to tell you. Lily, please, just look at me. It's about you parents." At that comment her head snapped up and she looked me directly in the eye with a look of fear across her face. I smiled gently before adding "Don't worry Lils, it's nothing bad... actually hopefully you will see it as good." Her face went back to the impassive look it had held earlier but she still held my gaze. "We just have to go to Dumbledore so he can explain it. Okay? Can you stand up for me please?"

She nodded her head before looking down at herself and murmuring "But I'm still in my jammies, I can't see Dumbledore like this."

I smiled at her and admitted that I had explained to Dumbledore that she had some family stuff going on and that he wouldn't care. She shook her head and told me that she needed to change.

I knew I wouldn't win this fight so I asked "What would you like to be wearing?" She looked at me with her face scrunched in confusion. Sirius had stayed oddly quiet throughout this whole conversation but he spoke up and said "James can transfigure a pillow into clothes for you if you just tell him what you would like. Trust me Lily-darling, if there is anything James is good at it is transfiguration."

She nodded slowly before answering "Just some jeans and a jumper would be good please..." She then paused and looked down and dropped her voice to murmur "And a bra too if you could manage it." When she looked back up Sirius was chuckling behind me and I was bright red.

"Um, yeah, sure." My voice sounded oddly squeaky.

I turned to the couch and pointed to each of the three pillows individually murmuring the spell and thinking of the articles of clothing I wanted. Once I was done she held them up to herself and said that they should fit fine. Sirius and I left the room and waited for her to get dressed. He looked straight ahead at the wall before saying "Speaking to you was the first thing she has done since she fell asleep on me last night. Whatever you have planned will work won't it?"

I don't think I had ever heard Sirius worry so much over someone who wasn't a marauder or my parents. I don't know what the relationship was between Lily and Sirius but it was obviously that they supported one another, and that was something I was grateful for. Even if Lily didn't love me she still supported my friends and therefore would have to be a part of my life. I had accepted a while ago that while I could accept Lily not being with me I couldn't not have her as part of my life. That didn't mean that I wouldn't keep asking her out.

Yes I had stopped for the meantime but that was because I knew she needed some space because she was dealing with enough as it was. I wasn't about to irritate her by asking her out when she had just become a part of my everyday life in a friendly regard. But I still had hope. Love always seems to give hope no matter how foolish the hope is.

"Yeah, mate. It should work."

Lily came appeared in front of us and we both stood up properly and began to walk. To break the silence I asked Lily if she had ever been to the headmaster's office. She shook her head.

"Well, the first time Sirius and I went there we had pulled off our first prank. It was in first year and we had jinxed all the desserts to shoot Gryffindor coloured sparks if anyone tried to put them in their mouths. It was the night before the first quidditch match we were going to have here at school and both Siri and I were over-excited." I grinned a little to myself at the memory and saw Lily nodding out of the corner of my eye as if she remembered what I was talking about. "The teacher obviously weren't happy and neither were the students who had been the first to try and take a bite, as they had all gotten a slight fright, but most student were laughing and Gryffindor started pretending to take bites just for the sparks would go off. So anyway we got the message to go to Dumbledore's office and were both terrified that we were going to be expelled. We had only done it as some fun and house spirit and no-one had gotten hurt, but still we had probably broken some rule in pulling the prank. Also at that point in time we were not nearly as discreet as we are now. When we got into his office he simply gestured to the seats in front of him for us to sit. So, of course, we did. Surprisingly though we didn't get in trouble, Dumbledore told us how much he enjoyed seeing the sparks and how he was impressed by our team spirit. We spent twenty minutes in his office with him congratulating us and then reminding us not to do it too frequently and not to hurt anyone." I was grinning by the end of the story and so was Sirius. Lily looked as if she was contemplating something.

Before long we ended up in front of Dumbledore's office and I stated the password. Together we made our way up the stairs and knocked on his door.

**A.N. hopefully I will post again on Friday but I hope you have enjoyed the story so far**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 13: The Idea****  
**

**Lily**

Dumbledore's voice rumbled from behind the door telling us to enter. James's hand moved forwards and turned the door knob. "Ah, Mr Black and Miss Evans how lovely to see you. And James a pleasure to see you again." Dumbledore's warm smile always reminded me of my grandfather (on my father's side), he always smiled at me with such caring in his eyes. He had died two years ago during the Christmas break. It would be hard this year not to go to his grave on the 2nd of January in remembrance. He would always pretend not to recognise me when he saw me and then comment on how much I had grown and how much I had matured into a beautiful young lady. Even though I knew he was over-exaggerating I still loved hearing it from him. I wish I could have told him about magic, I think he would be proud of me. I think that as my dad gets older he seems to look more and more like Pop-pop, he has the same type of smile but not as many wrinkles. Maybe that's why I compare Pop-pop and Dumbledore, the wrinkles and the kind eyes. I blinked a few times to try and clear my head and focus on the present. I also was trying to blink the tears that had formed in my eyes at the thought of my family away.

Well, at least I wasn't as dead inside as I thought I was. I missed my family so much it hurt. To know that I had lost my sister was the worst feeling I could imagine. I focus back on Dumbledore and mumble a "Good evening Sir" before moving to sit in the chair directly in front of him. James sat on my right and Sirius my left.

"Now Miss Evans, I have been led to understand that due to some family issues you are going to be unable to return home for Christmas but that you are also feeling homesick, to say the least. Is this somewhat correct without going into details?"

I simply sat there nodding mutely at him as he smiled kindly down at me. Dumbledore continued by saying "Well my dear, your friend here," indicating towards James, "has come to me with an idea which I have approved."

James cut in at this point saying "It wasn't just me, the guys all helped with the plan too, I just came to Dumbledore about it." His face was growing progressively pinker by the second. I don't think I had ever seen him blush before. To be honest I didn't think anything could embarrass him.

"Miss Evans," Dumbledore began again, "If you would like you could return home for one day on the 23rd of December, to have an early Christmas with your parents. Your sister will not be in attendance as she will be at a work function with her boyfriend, but your parents greatly wish to see you." Tears filled my eyes as he had continued with the plan. "you would use the flu-network to travel home before breakfast in the morning and return again after breakfast that evening." He paused briefly before asking "Would you like that Miss Evans?"

I nodded at him numbly, because the only thought going through my mind was that I was going home. I would get to see my parents. Tuney still hated me but my parents loved me and they wanted to see me. I would get to go home. I murmured a quick thank you and yes, still in shock that it was reality and he soon dismissed us.

We left Dumbledore's office and continued along the hallways towards Gryffindor Tower. I could hear James and Sirius murmuring to one another but didn't have the wherewithal to pay attention to the words being said. It was as if I had shut down. I just needed time to processes everything. I mean, just one hour ago I thought I was not going to see my parents at all this holidays, but now my friends had organised for me to go home. The thing is on top of contemplating that I had to figure out how I felt about seeing Potter as a friend. I mean, Remus had been my friend for years and I had just become friends with Sirius and I didn't mind Peter, but I had always fought with and disliked James. Did that change now? I mean he, Remus and Peter had figured out how to get me home. So what now?

**James**

Sirius and I trailed a little behind Lily as we made our way to the common room. She hadn't really said anything since we had been in Dumbledore's office. Of course she said yes and thank you but she still hadn't reacted properly. She was back in thought and seemed oblivious to the world. To be honest I think that Padfoot and I could be shouting and she wouldn't notice.

"She doesn't really seem any different than this morning... she still seems lost to the world." Paddy's voice was soft as if trying not to scare a little animal.

"Yeah, to be honest I thought she would be more excited and more lively when she found out."

"Maybe she just needs time to process everything?" Paddy's voice sounded unsure and concerned. It was a little weird that he had become so protective over her, as he never really trusted others (aside from the marauders) or allowed himself to care that deeply for them. But I understood where he was coming from. Lily was there to support him when he needed it and levelled the playing field by showing her vulnerability. They shared something and gained one another's trust. While I was a bit jealous, I knew that Paddy would never do anything to hurt me. He was my brother.

"Yeah, I guess." We were quiet for a while.

"Hey Jamie? Why did you tell Lily that it was all of us and not take the credit?"

I let out a heavy breathe. "Because I don't want her to think I was forcing my way into her life and I don't want her to feel obliged to be nice to me or to feel indebted to me. I want her to come to me of her own will. Not out of duty. Does that make sense?" Sirius nodded slowly at me and simply answered "Well we will need to tell Remus and Peter what they have done so that when she brings it up they won't be confused and give it away." I agreed and we continued on our way.

**Marlene**

We were all worried about Lily. She had run from the room last night and hadn't shown up to any classes today. Remus had said that Sirius was with her, but that just confused me further. I didn't understand that whole relationship. I mean I knew Lily and therefore I knew it wasn't anything sexual. And I knew Sirius enough to know that he wouldn't do that to James. Despite what Lily thought I knew James loved her and that it wasn't just a game to him.

I worried about Lily. I knew she got harassed at school because of her blood status and I knew her sister was horrible to her at home. But I worried mainly that at some point she would lose it. She held so much in and always pretended to be alright. It wasn't healthy. In all the years we had shared a dorm, I had seen her break down four times. One was in third year when she had been sent a locket that her grandfather had left for her in his will and three were this week. Firstly when she ran on Monday, then when she told us everything that night and then last night when she ran from the dormitory. I am sure she has seen me cry at least eighty times from stupid things like homesickness, sad romance novels and break ups to my father dying. She had seen me at my best and my worst but it seemed as if I had never seen either of those of her. She was always just Lily, pretending to be her best but not fully convincing me.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Harry Potter universe. All characters belong to the amazingly talented J.K. Rowling.**

**Chapter 14:**

**Lily**

When we got back to the common room I went straight upstairs and enclosed myself in my bed. I still had to process everything. I pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote a list of things I knew. I figured that I just needed to sort through everything before I could react.

_I was going home to see my parents_

_Petunia wouldn't be there_

_Petunia couldn't hate me because I wasn't going to spoil her Christmas _

_My parents loved me and wanted to see me_

_I would be spending the Christmas holidays with Marlene, Sirius, Remus, Peter and James_

_The marauders had organised for me to go home_

_They were becoming my friends_

_James was becoming my friend_

_He wasn't as bad as I thought_

_I had to thank them for their kindness_

By the time I had finished the list it was past midnight. I had heard each of the girls wander in here and go to bed. They called goodnights and had fallen to sleep about an hour ago. It had taken me so long to figure everything out I felt like I was becoming stupid, and as James had said last year in Defence "Lily and stupid don't go together in the same sentence."

It had been when Professor Langly. He was a blood status fanatic and had criticised the one mistake I had made (because he hadn't explained the concept correctly) and called me stupid for not understanding. James had stuck up for me with that comment and added "To be honest Sir, you haven't explained it correctly" he proceeded to explain the concept fully and flawlessly. If I was honest, that was the first time I realised he was truly intelligent on his own and was not just cheating of Remus. At the time I thought he was taunting me but I recognised later that he was just trying to stand up for me.

I really needed to thank the marauders. They had done so much for me. Even without me noticing or acknowledging it. I had to thank them in that moment.

I quickly fixed my hair and quietly crept from the dormitory. It was empty and quiet in the common room. Not that I was really surprised as it was already 1 o'clock in the morning. I quietly bounded up the stairs and stopped before the 5th year boys' dormitory. I paused for a second with a few questions plaguing my mind. Why couldn't I wait until morning? would they even be awake? Would they care that I wanted to thank them? Pushing these thoughts to the back of my mind, I gently tapped on the door resolved with the idea that if they didn't answer I would go back to my room. To both my relief and disappointment the door opened before me.

James stood there in red pyjama pants with gold snitches on them and a black t-shirt. His face was contorted with a look of surprise with his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide. It made me grin to see him so shocked. It was nice to know that the infamous marauders, the pranksters of Hogwarts could still be surprised.

"Hey James, can I come in for a moment?" I whispered to James who still seemed to be suffering from shock. He nodded his head slowly before holding up one finger at me and calling to the rest of the guys to make themselves decent because I was going to be coming into the room. I heard some shuffles from inside the room and couldn't help but giggle at the fact that they were trying to fix both themselves and, from the sound of multiple draws opening and closing repetitively, their room up for me to come inside. To be honest I knew how messy a room could get. I had seen Marlene, Mary and Alice get ready for dates before. By the time they left, they looked magnificent but the room looked as if a bomb had gone off inside it.

James pushed the door open after about a minute and I stepped timidly inside. I went and sat at the end of James' bed because it was the only one currently unoccupied and faced the middle of the room. I watched as James went and sat on the edge of Sirius's bed and I took a deep breath to centre myself and looked around the room.

**James**

Sometimes I really hated being the person in the bed closest to the door but with the amount of time Sirius and I spent sneaking out of the rooms at night it made sense for us to be there. Each year we swapped who was closest and this year it was my turn. I grabbed a t-shirt from my dresser, I preferred for my room to stay tidy. My mum always made me clean my room by hand when I was younger and it just sort of stuck. I slid out of bed cursing the cold floorboards under my breath and pulled open the door. I probably should have asked who it was, and I probably would have, had I been at home, but at Hogwarts it was pretty safe and it wasn't like any Slytherins would have been in Gryffindor Tower to try and get us back for any of our pranks.

I heart rose into my throat as I saw the beautiful red-head standing at the door. She had a cute blush on her cheeks and seemed scared and shy for some reason. But at least she was acknowledging human presence. We had all been pretty worried about her since she got the news from Dumbledore. She kind of completely shut down. It was like she was trapped inside her own head, and which the giant knowledge filled brain Lily possessed it would have been one hell of a journey to come back to the world of the living. She asked if she could come in and I nodded like the fool. However as she made a movement towards the door, I realised that mine was the only part of the room that was clean and that none of the guys were decent for a girl as innocent as Lily to come in. Wordlessly I asked her to wait and called for the guys to quickly clean up because we had a female visitor. I think they could tell from the look on my face who it was so they luckily didn't call out any raunchy remarks, as they would have had it been another girl.

I stood there awkwardly not knowing what to say as the guys quickly got ready, Lily let out a low giggle under her breath which I wanted to asked about but I figured that she wouldn't tell me so left it alone. Luckily they were quick about it and soon Remus let out a grunt to let me know that the place was decent.

I pushed open the door and Lily walked inside. She smelled nice, like vanilla and honey. Sugary. She looked around briefly before settling onto my bed. A move which made my heart pound against my rib cage. Lily was on my bed. I went and sat on Siri's bed and waited for her to say something while drinking in the image of the girl I love sitting on my bed fiddling with my quilt cover.

She took a breath and lifted her head to speak to us. "So firstly I wanted to thank you all. You guys figured out a way for me to see my parents and that is the kindest, greatest, most amazing thing that any person has ever done for me. I miss them so much and to know that I am going to get to see them is so relieving and makes me so happy." She smiled gently at us all, her green eyes glimmering with emotion. "And secondly, I wanted to apologise."

That comment brought gasps from all of our lips aside from Padfoot's. "I judged you on your past behaviour and didn't allow you to prove yourselves. So I am sorry for being judgemental. I am also sorry for not thanking you all sooner and for not acknowledging the good things that you guys do and only acknowledging the bad."

We all grinned back at her and Wormtail made the comment of "Well, finally." But even Lily could tell he was joking. It was nice to know that maybe she did realise that our aim in life is not to frustrate her.

Lily then got up and went to Moony and Wormtail giving them a warm hug in gratitude before making her way to Sirius and I. To be honest I was shocked. I never had even contemplated her actually liking us enough to willingly touch us. I mean, Moony maybe but the past week had been really odd in seeing her actually spend enough time with us to want to hug us. She hugged Sirius first while I stood. Then she came around to me and wrapped her arms around the waist. I squeezed her gently wishing that the moment could go on forever and rather reluctant to let go but when she pulled away I let her leave.

She thanked us again and started for the door before turning back and saying "And James, thanks for asking Dumbledore. That must have been terrifying to do but you were a true Gryffindor and pushed through anyway. So thanks." She smiled and walked through the door shutting it behind her before I could say a word. I just stood staring dumbly at the door trying to figure out what had just happened. The love of my life had just hugged and thanked me for doing what I had to, to make her happy. She really didn't get how much I cared about her did she.

I know that I should have been grateful that she thanked us and that she actually acknowledged the good things we did, and don't get me wrong I was glad about that, but the fact she felt the need to thank me for something I would do a million times over just to see her with the barest of smiles on her face proved that she really didn't see that I cared about her more than anything in the world.

Sometimes that extremely intelligent girl could be extremely foolish.

We all got into bed silently. I think we were all a little shocked that she had thanked us. The guys all fell to sleep fairly quickly but I couldn't sleep. She had actually hugged me. Willingly. This day was one of the most amazing of my life despite how blind she is. I swore to myself that I would make her see how much I cared about her and that it wasn't just a game to me.

**A.N. I am sorry darlings... it is exam time at the moment and I completely spaced on posting this chapter... but all my exams are finished by Monday so I should hopefully be able to post a few more chapters after that. **


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